Trapped In A Distant Time
by Tigris2
Summary: The Inu Yasha crew is trapped in Kagome's time! Until the well opens up again, they have to live there! We get to see what happens! PG13 for language and some kissing (but not a lot). Chapter 8 is now up! R&R!
1. The Ski Trip

Disclaimer: No, I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha, any of the characters, or any stuff related to Inu Yasha. If you thought I did even for a second, you're an idiot. All those things belong to the Queen of Romantic Comedy, Rumiko Takahashi.  
  
A/N:This is just a rabid plot-bunny that formed itself in my brain while my friend and I were playing Inu Yasha with her lego Bionicles. Please review, limit three flames per person!  
  
Summary: The Inu Yasha crew is stuck in Kagome's time! Until the well is open again, they're stuck there. We get to see what happens! Woohoo!  
  
It was a bright and sunny day in the busy citiy were Kagome lived. She sat in her room petting her cat Buyo. She gave a sigh, and for the millionth time got up and looked out her window. *I can't help but worry.* She thought to herself. *Inu Yasha and the others are out in the city, doing who knows what?* Kagome was finally fed up. She put on her shoes and left the shrine.  
***  
In the city, people were giving Miroku, Shippo, and Inu Yasha strange looks, but Inu Yasha especially, because of his ears. Sango was with them, but didn't stick out like a sore thumb. Kagome had given her some of her old clothes to wear. Sango's boomerang bone was at the shrine, in Kagome's closet. Inu Yasha still had the Tetsuaiga at his side, and Miroku was still carrying around his staff. As a group they were getting some very nasty looks.  
Shippo's stomach groaned loudly, like a stricken buffalo. "I'm hungrrrryyyy!!!" Shippo wailed.  
"I too could use some food." Miroku said. "Perhaps we should find a place to eat." Sango walked up to some old lady on the street, and asked if she knew where they could find anything to eat. The old woman turned, and to Sango's surprise, she saw the old woman was none other than Keade!  
"I know as little as ye where to find any food.I am simply delivering this mixture of herbs to someone." She held up a clear plastic bag, and Sango saw that inside was a fine powder. A cop came strolling down the sidewalk whistling merrily. Keade ran quickly across the street, and cut down an alley.  
"I wonder what her problem was?" Shippo said. They asked the next person they saw, who pointed them across the street to an ice cream parlor. They went inside.  
  
***  
Kagome was walking quickly down the street. She felt she had looked in every store or restaurant, and still didn't find them. She was getting really worried. She walked past an ice cream parlor, where four people were sitting at a table enjoying a humongous ice cream sundae. She walked past, then suddenly stopped. She zipped back to the ice cream parlor, and looked through the window again. The four people sitting at the table were Inu Yasha, Miroku, Shippo, and Sango! She opened the door and ran inside.  
"Where've you guys been?!" She screamed as soon as she reached their table. "I was worried sick! I could only imagine what you might be doing! Miroku especially."  
"Hey!" Miroku cried indignantly. "We've only been sitting here eating this delicious food." He said as he ate another spoonful.   
"Yes, that and hitting on every woman here, asking them to bear your children." Sango said under her breath. It was then that Kagome noticed the many throbbing bumps on Miroku's head.  
"Can I have some of that ice cream?" Kagome asked.  
"Sure. Have a seat." Inu Yasha said eagerly. The only seat left was next to Inu Yasha, and Kagome's heart began skipping. In fact, it skipped happily out of her chest. Inu Yasha quickly grabbed it and shoved it back inside. Kagome sat down, blushing slightly.  
"That was odd." Miroku said.  
"Shut up Miroku." Kagome said,still blushing. *HOORAY!! I'm sitting next to Inu Yasha!!!* She thought happily. She groped around underneath the table until she found what she thought was Inu Yasha's hand. She grabbed it and held it tightly. Wait a minute.......  
"Why Kagome, I never knew you cared so much." Miroku said smiling. He recieved yet another bump on the head as a reply. He had about six lupms up there on his noggin.   
"Miroku," Kagome said as she stood up.  
"Yes Kagome?"  
"Let me read the bumps on your head." She looked at the top of his head for a minute, then said "Not enough bumps. We'll make some!" She started beating him viciously over the head with her spoon. Sango finally had to reach over, grab her by the scarf, and drag her away from Miroku's limp body. He had swirly eyes, and fell face first into the ice cream. Everyone laughed loudly. Kagome paid the bill (A/N: Dun dun dun!) and they headed back to the shrine. Miroku had to be carried by Sango and Inu Yasha. Kagome had offered to help carry him instead, but Sango said she wanted to do it. Inu Yasha had a lump on the head for teasing Sango about it, and he would've gotten more if Kagome and Shippo didn't hold the enraged demon slayer back.  
Once they reached the shrine, they were all in better moods, and Miroku was regaining conciousness. Inu Yasha's and Miroku's bumps had healed. "Say everyone!" Kagome exclaimed, as she suddenly had an idea. They all looked up at her. "Tomorrow's Satuday! Why don't we all go sledding and skiing at this really cool place I know of?"   
"Sounds good to me!" Miroku said, thinking he would meet some pretty women, and ask them to bear his children.   
"I'll try it!" Shippo said happily. From what Kagome had told him, he was sure sledding would be fun.  
"I'll go." Inu Yasha said. He knew Kagome had a "sled" big enough to fit two people. He planned to try to get Kagome to go in it with him. Kagome was thinking the exact same thoughts. Sango was thinking the same thoughts about her and Miroku.  
"Well, we need to get some sleep. If we want to go there, we need to leave early." Kagome said. Miroku went and laid down on the couch, with his right hand dangling off the side. Kagome went and made sure his prayer beads were on extra tightly. Sango slept on a futon on the floor next to him.  
"How sweet." Inu Yasha said in a mocking voice. Sango glared at him, but decided to stay next to Miroku. Then Kagome went and got in her pajamas. Inu Yasha took off his red kimono, laid it out next to Kagome's bed, and slept on the it. Kagome climbed into her bed, and Shippo bounced onto the pillow next to her head.   
They all fell asleep instantly, probably because of the lullaby music coming out of nowhere. Three solitary figures stood on the roof of the shrine, silhouetted against the moon. One was tall with long hair that flowed in the wind, and had a huge fluffy thing on their shoulder. (Just what the heck IS that thing anyway?!) The other was two feet high and was holding a two headed staff. And the third, was ME! I was dressed in all black, my long hair was tied up in a ponytail, and I had a SONY boombox in my hands with a CD of downloaded music of the 'net.   
"So, what happens next Sesshomaru?" I asked.  
"We're going to accompany them on their little "ski trip". And I will finally steal Inu Yasha's sword!" Sesshomaru answered.  
"Uh, wouldn't it just be easier to take the Tetsauiga now, while Inu Yasha's sleeping?" Jaken facefaulted.   
"I say we're going to steal it when they're all awake. That way, they'll all be able to see my triumph!"  
"You mean OUR triumph! I'm the one who's gonna snatch the sword while you're fighting."  
"Be quiet!"  
"I'm just saying-"  
"SHUT UP!"  
"........"  
Jaken and me jumped up onto Sesshomaru's back, and he flew off. I casually knocked Jaken off with my elbow, and he had to follow us from the ground.  
***  
It was morning, around six A.M. Kagome looked sleepily over at Shippo, who was curled in a fuzzy little ball on her pillow. Inu Yasha was still sleeping on the floor, the Tetsauiga lying next to him. She got up, put on her bunny slippers and fuzzy robe, and went out to check on Sango and Miroku. ("Check on them" *hint hint, wink wink*) She found them laying exactly as she had last seen them, the night before. Miroku's hand was moving. It went slowly, slowly towards Sango, slowly, slowly..... BONK! His hand was stopped by the powerful blow Kagome delt him with a frying pan. Sango was up instantly, and took in the scene: Miroku lying frozen with a huge lump on his head, his hand frozen inches from where Sango was just lying.  
Sango quickly gave him a bump on the head too. Inu Yasha came rushing in, holding the Tetsauiga.  
"What's going on?" He asked quickly. He saw Sango huffing and puffing (and blowing your house in! lol) and Miroku with two bumps on his head. "Oh, Miroku's up to his old tricks again, eh?" Kagome nodded.   
"We might as well have something to eat. We'll have to leave at eight o' clock if we want to go sledding." Kagome said. She went into the kitchen. "Who here likes eggs for breakfast?"   
"I do!" Shippo said.   
"Eggs are good." Inu Yasha said.  
"Alrighty then!" Kagome said. "We can have scrambled eggs for breakfast!" They gave her questioning looks. "You mean you've never had scrambled eggs?!" Kagome said. "You're gonna love them!"  
An hour later, after they had all eaten at least three helpings of scrambled eggs, they all got dressed. They laid around while Kagome got out her skiis and sleds. By now, her mom was up.  
"Hey Mom, can you give us a ride?" Kagome asked.  
"Where to?"  
"To Mt. Fuji!" Everyone facefaulted.  
"How about I take you somewhere closer for sledding?" She asked, with a sweatdrop on the back of her head.  
"Ok!" Kagome said. An hour later they were at a nice little hill, about 20 feet high, about 50 miles from where Kagome lived. They took the sleds and stuff out of the trunk, and started climbing. Then they started sledding. Kagome and Inu Yasha were in one sled. Shippo in another, Sango in another, and Miroku was trying his luck at skiing. (this won't end well) About half way down the hill, Miroku saw a pretty woman. (here we go)   
"Hey!" he started to yell. "Will you bear my-" SMACK! He hit a tree. He fell down in the snow and laid there motionless.  
Meanwhile, in a very deep and very cold snowbank, three figures huddled, spying through a hole in the snow. One was sniffling loudly, the other two were silent. (three guesses who they are!)  
"SNIFF! Hey Sesshomaru. They're all-SNIFF!- flocking over to see if the monk's OK. Would this be a-SNIFF!- good time for me to create a diversion so you can take them by surprise? SNIFF!" I asked Sesshomaru (his name's NOT Fluffy!!!!!)  
"Yes, go ahead." Sesshomaru answered. I jumped out of the snowbank after Sesshomaru had creeped off, and started throwing snowballs.   
"Hey!" I shouted. "Look at me, I'm doing things!" I started making chicken noises and running around in circles. They didn't pay any attention. I grabbed Jaken and his two headed staff. "Hey! Who wants to see Jaken get roasted?" They all turned around and started running up.  
"FRY HIM! FRY HIM! FRY HIM!" They chanted rythmically. (that's a BAAAD sign!) Just then, Sesshomaru rushed up and dug his poisonous nails into Inu Yasha's wrist. Inu Yasha turned and slashed at Sesshomaru, and when he did, I snatched his sword.  
"BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!! You'll never catch me!" I screeched as I ran off through the hills.  
"Hey, that crazy girl took off with Inu Yasha's sword!" Kagome yelled. "After her!" Sango jumped on her boomerang and started riding on it like a snowboard.   
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" I screamed. Kagome and Shippo ran after me. I ran into the thick forest. It managed to slow them down for a bit, and I managed to escape from their sight. "Gotta hide, gotta hide!" I said. Suddenly a huge boulder came into view. "Under a rock!" I dived underneath it and lay motionless.  
Sango came running up with her boomerang, followed by Kagome and Shippo. *They'll never find me!* I thought. I might've gotten away with it too, if my snickering hadn't given me away. Sango slashed the rock to pieces with her boomerang. "Oh, poopcscuds." I said. Sango grabbed me by the shirt and lifted me up. (who knew she had such strength?)   
"Give back Inu Yasha's enchanted blade!" She ordered. I scooped up a snowball and threw it in her face, momentarily blinding her. She let go, and I started to run.  
"Sorry Sango!" I yelled over my shoulder. "But Sesshomaru's paying me good money to steal the Tetsauiga! This is how I make a living!" Something flew out of the sky, and plowed me into the ground. I think it was Jaken after being hit by Inu Yasha. I held up the Tetsauiga out of the hole. "Here you go." I said.   
The battle with Sesshomaru didn't last long after that. He saw I failed and flew off, with Jaken sitting on his shoulder. I faded into the shadows before they noticed me again, and was gone. (dark and mysterious, aren't I?) They went back to the car, and started to drive off, before realizing they had forgotten Miroku. They turned and picked him up, then took him to the hospital.  
***  
A/N: Will Miroku recover from his inujuries? Will Sesshomaru try to take the Tetsauiga again? Why am I asking you all these questions? I know that chapter kinda sucked, but I will write more. But not until I get at least three reviews! Remember, only three flames per person! 


	2. The Elevator Incident

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own Inu Yasha. But I DO own 3 of the manga volumes!! That's something! And some day, some day I will go to an anime convention, and be Inu Yasha and all will be well!!!  
  
A/N: Well, here it is, I have created another chapter. But I would've given it to you all even if I hadn't gotten three reviews. The rabid plot bunny commanded me. It grew into a mutant rabbid plot bunny. It has foam coming from its mouth, three eyes, and three ears!!! SAVE ME SOMEONE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!  
***  
At the hospital, Kagome, Inu Yasha, Shippo, and Sango were in the waiting room. They were waiting for the doctor to tell them that they could go in and visit Miroku. According to the nurse Inu Yasha had harrassed earlier, he had two broken arms, three broken ribs, and a broken leg. He was paralyzed and would be for at least a month. But for some miraculous reason, he could still talk. (By my merciful hand. I AM the writer after all!)  
Sango was sitting nervously biting her fingernails. Kagome was reading a dated maganize (buh buh buh, BUH BUH BUH!) Shippo was practicing his "fox magic", and Inu Yasha was cleaning the Tetsauiga's sheath.  
"Inu...*squint*....Yasha...?" The nurse said, squinting at her little clipboard, having difficulty pronoucning his name.  
"Yeah?" Inu Yasha said standing up.  
"You may go in and see M-..m..miroku now." Inu Yasha walked through the double doors and was hit full in the face with the horrible smell of antiseptic. He slumped down and got swirly eyes. Kagome had to pull on his ears a few times to wake him up. They continued down the hall with Inu Yasha wearing one of those surgical masks.   
They walked into Miroku's room and saw him lying sprawled in the bed. He was hooked up to an IV bag that held his fluids,(I don't WANNA know what the "fluids" are, do you?!) and he was hooked up to one of those heart monitoring machines with the flat line and the "BEEEEEEEEP!!!!" He was asleep, and obviously breathing with difficulty from his three broken ribs.   
"Hey Miroku, wake up!" Inu Yasha said. Miroku still slept on, so Inu Yasha resorted to drastic measures. He reached up, grabbed the IV bag, and squeezed it! (very painfull!) Miroku instantly jerked awake with a loud scream of pain.  
"So Miroku, you finally got what you deserve, eh?"  
"Sh-shut up asshole!" Sango was standing right next to Miroku's bed, looking very worried. Miroku's eyes glazed over a bit, and he looked very weak. His vision seemed to slip in and out of focus as he looked at Sango.(we all know where THIS is goin', am I right?)  
"Sango....is that.....you?" He asked weakly.  
"Yes." Sango said quietly. Kagome, Inu Yasha, and Shippo were just standing on the other side of the room, shaking their heads. Miroku gave a small sigh, and he went limp. "Miroku! Are you alright?" Sango cried, leaning over the bed. (BIG mistake Sango!) Miroku's hand went instantly up and patted her on the butt. She screamed and jumped back, and squeezed the IV bag, just like Inu Yasha.  
"OWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Miroku screamed loudly. Sango glared at him. Kagome was shaking her head.  
"Sango, Sango, Sango. I thought you would have learned by now." She said, looking at Sango with pity.  
"Come on, let's go." Inu Yasha said. "If I spend another minute in this "hospital", I'm going to die." He did look as though he were about to faint from the noxious antiseptic fumes.  
"Come on, we can take the elevator." Kagome said. They all left, except of course for Miroku. They walked down the hall to the elevator, and Kagome pushed the button. They waited for about 30 seconds before Inu Yasha lost his patience.  
"What's taking so long?!" Inu Yasha yelled. With a crunch and a screech of twisting steel, Inu Yasha had opened up the elevator doors, and dropped down the shaft.(they were on the eigth floor of the hospital, soooo.....)   
"Inu Yasha! Wait!!" Kagome screamed. Too late. They heard a crash and a thud, and rushed down to the hospital basement. They saw Inu Yasha lying sprawled on the floor, with two broken arms, two broken legs, five broken ribs, and a broken collarbone.(Although they didn't know it at the time) Kagome came running up to him. "Inu Yasha!" She cried. He was unconcious, so, of course, he gave no reply. Sango and Shippo went to get help while Kagome kneeled next to Inu Yasha, hoping against hope he wasn't dead.  
A few hours later, Inu Yasha was lying in a hospital bed, in the same room as Miroku. He was also attached to an IV bag and a heart monitor. Kagome was sitting in a chair next to Inu Yasha's bed.  
"Kagome," Sango said. "Wouldn't you like something to eat?"  
"No." Kagome said softly.  
"Are you sure? It's oden."  
"Oden?! Why didn't you say so?!" Kagome said. She jumped out of her cahir and out of the room. She went and joined the others at a little lunchroom built inside the hospital. "It's oden, it's oden, oh my god, it's ODEN!!" She said as she scarfed it down. (oden is Kagome's favorite food right?) She ate five helpings, and she ate it all in about 5 minutes. (a NEW RECORD!!!) It was like she hadn't eaten in a month. *It's like she hasn't eaten in a month!* Sango thought as she stared at Kagome. As soon as Kagome was done eating her oden (OH MY GOD, IT'S ODEN!!) she got up and walked down the hall, going back to Inu Yasha's room.  
Right before she opened the door, she heard a crash. Then she heard something that made her heart stop. The heart monitor was beeping!   
"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!" It went. She rushed into the room, and saw a flat line on Inu Yasha's heart monitor screen! She then fainted with shock.  
"Ha ha ha!" Sesshomaru said. He was standing in front of the broken window, and his hand was around Inu Yasha's throat! "I don't need that loser Tigris to steal the Tetsauiga from you for me! I can take it myself! Ha ha ha ha ha!" And then suddenly, I appeared in the doorway.  
"Loser huh?!" I yelled. " I'd like you to meet someone!" In walked a rabid fangirl. We won't use her name, but for all intentional purposes, we'll call her Bridget. ( *hint hint, wink wink*) She took one look around the room, and she screamed.  
"Oh my god, it's Inu Yasha! OH MY GOD, IT'S SESSHOMARUUUUUUU!!!!" She dived at Sesshomaru, who immeadiately fled out the window.  
"Thank you for your services Bridget." I said. I then paid her in Inu Yasha manga volumes. She took them, and then left, but not before tugging a little on Inu Yasha's ears. *Now there's just the matter of cleanup.* I thought. Everything had happened in about a minute. I dumped a bucket of cold water on Kagome's face, and left before she saw me. I went and told a nurse that one of the patients in room 997 was having a heart attack. I told her to get the electric shock thingys. She gasped and ran off to fetch them. (heh heh heh :) ('.'^) (^'.') )  
Meanwhile, back in Inu Yasha's room, Kagome was trying to get Inu Yasha's heart going again. *Think, think, think!* Kagome thought. *I know what'll wake him up!* (stand back folks!) She gave a Inu Yasha a huge kiss, a full-minute, PG 13, liplock! (I think she enjoyed it, don't you? heh heh heh) Inu Yasha's heart started beating again, quite quickly actually. The monitor went "BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP!" in just two seconds! At that moment, the nurse came running in. She pushed Kagome aside, and plugged in the shocky thing. She rubbed the pads together, and held them up high in the air.  
"No, wait!!" Kagome said.  
"CLEAR!!!" The nurse yelled. She pushed the pads down on Inu Yasha's chest. He screamed really really loud. There was a bright yellow light. Then there was an explosion, and fancy fireworks. "Hey!" The nurse said. "Who put the electrical shock thing on maximum voltage?!" I was standing in the doorway, laughing my head off. After I finally managed to stop laughing, I said, "I did it!"  
"Why?" Kagome said.  
" 'cuz it's funny." Then I ran off and leaped out the second floor window.  
"Who WAS that girl?" Kagome wondered.  
"TIGRIS!" A voice floated through the window. "MY NAME IS TIGRIS!!" Kagome cupped her hands over her mouth and leaned out the window.  
"WHAT DO YOU WANT TIGRIS?!" She shouted. Silence. "TIGRIS?!" No answer again. I had run off. "Geez, she's weird." Kagome said. (Well!) Then Kagome remembered that Inu Yasha had just been shocked a minute ago. She rushed back to his bedside. "Are you OK, Inu Yasha?" She asked. He coughed, and a little puff of smoke came out of his mouth.   
"Yeah, sure. I love pain." He said. Sango and Shippo came running in.   
"What happened?!" Sango asked. She saw the broken window, the electric shocky things, and a spot of lipstick on Inu Yasha's face. "Oh." She said, taking it entirely wrong. "We'll leave you two alone. Come on Shippo." She said. She pulled the young and impressionable kitsune out of the room by the tail.  
"Wait you've got it all wrong!" Kagome called after Sango. Sango didn't hear her. Miroku yawned loudly.  
"What'd I miss?" He asked sleepily. "I need a drink of water." He then sat up, and got out of the bed, casts and all, with his IV bag trailing on the floor behind him. He walked over to the sink, and got a glass of water. He drank it in one gulp. He then took off his casts and walked out the door.  
"How did THAT happen?" Kagome said.  
"Hey wait, what about me?!" Inu Yasha screamed. He tried to get up, but immeadiately stopped, because of the horrible pain.  
"This stinks!" Inu Yasha yelled. He then shouted a string of colorfully assorted cuss words. In the waiting room, Sango clamped her hands over Shippo's ears. The nurse in Inu Yasha's room fainted.  
***  
A week later, Inu Yasha was able to get up and leave the hospital while the doctors and nurses tried to restrain him. It was again Saturday, and Kagome had big plans.  
"Hey everybody, wanna go mountain climbing?" She asked while they were sitting eating Ramen. (Ramen rocks! I'm quite partial to the shrimp flavored noodles, myself) Everybody said sure.  
"This has fiasco written all over it." A certain author said while watching through the window. What they didn't no when they said yes, was that they were short one safety harness. And for some reason, they all wanted to go, even after their little escapade on the ski trip. They got in the car, and Kagome's mom drove them to a 12,000 foot mountain somewhere, with cliffs, drop offs, jagged ledges, and rocks that fall off without warning. (Why must Kagome pick such dangerous activities? Why not baseball or basketball? Or a movie?)  
They all got into their harnesses, and that's when they realized they were short one.  
"I guess one of us will have to go without a harness." Kagome said.  
"Or, we could share one." Miroku said, looking at Sango.  
"NO WAY, NO HOW!" Sango screamed.  
"Well, we gotta come up with something..." Kagome said. They all stopped to think.  
Meanwhile atop a cliff on the mountain I stood watching them.  
"Sesshomaru is just too determined." I said shaking my head. "If he's gonna try to steal that sword again, then I'm gonna stop him. After all, I am an INU YASHA fan, not a Sesshomaru fan."  
Down on the ground, they were all still arguing about what to do. Would they ever get to mountain climb?  
***  
A/N: Another bad chapter. I know Miroku just getting up and walking out of the hospital was weird, but I wanted to put a sadistic twist into this chapter. R&R, chapter 3 will be up as soon as I finish it! 


	3. Experienced

Disclaimer: I'm getting sick of having to do this. No, I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha. So leave me alone lawyers, you vicious blood-sucking, money-grabbing fiends!!!!!!!!!  
A/N: Sorry it took so long. But here it is, a new chapter!!!!   
***  
"-Well do you wanna go rock climbing or not?!" Kagome screeched irritably as she argued with Sango.  
"Sure I do!" Sango yelled back. "I'm just not sharing a safety harness, and I'm not going to climb without one!!"  
"Well then, why don't you just go sit in the car while the rest of us have fun!"  
"No way! Why don't YOU?! Oh, wait I forgot, you're too stupid to figure out where the car is!!!"  
"THAT'S IT!!!" Kagome dived on Sango and soon they were rolling around on the ground, scratching, punching, kicking, and biting each other in a cloud of dust. Miroku, Shippo, and Inu Yasha were watching with wide eyes.  
"Wow, they're really beating each other up." Inu Yasha said as he watched Sango pull viciously on Kagome's hair. "Think I should do something?"  
"One thing I've learned in all my years on this Earth, is to never EVER get involved in a cat fight." Miroku said as he watched Kagome bite Sango's arm like it was a chicken wing.  
"Cat fight?" Inu Yasha said looking puzzled. "They're humans!"  
"It's an expression, Inu Yasha."   
"Whatever. I'm going to put a stop to their fighting." Inu Yasha said, stepping towards the huge dust cloud.  
"He's a goner isn't he?" Shippo asked looking up at Miroku.  
"Mmmmhmmm. May the Buddha have mercy on his soul." Miroku said doing the little one-handed thingy with his hand when he prays while he's holding his staff.  
"Hey!" Inu Yasha yelled once he was only about 2 inches away from the spot where Kagome and Sango were fighting. "Stop fighting! We'll just figure something out, so you can stop whining." They paused and looked at Inu Yasha with murder in their eyes. Then they exchanged a glance, and dived on him together.  
"BONZAI!!!!!!!!!" They screamed. Inu Yasha screamed, and then they were all rolling on the ground in a mass of flailing limbs.  
"Miroku!! OOh aah owww ooooHH! Hey! Below the belt penalty!!" Inu Yasha screamed as he was viciously attacked by Kagome and Sango while they were attacking each other. "Miroku, oooh ahhh EEEEE!!! HELP ME!"Miroku's head wasn't exactly on straight that day (In fact, it was twisted at a 90 degree angle! Freaky!) so his hand went up to the prayer beads on his hand.  
"Wind tunnel!" He screamed as he ripped the beads off.  
"Miroku no, YOU IDIOT!" Shippo screamed. He dived on Miroku and put the prayer beads back on Miroku's hand, but not before part of his tail got stuck in the hole in Miroku's hand. (EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!) "My tail, my poor, poor, TAIL!!!!" He screamed.   
Instantly, the fighting stopped.  
"Shippo are you OK?!" Kagome screamed as she got up. Sango got up too. Shippo was crying his eyes out, while Inu Yasha was lying on the ground with a dazed expression on his face. Kagome tried to calm Shippo down, while Sango tried to think of a way to get Shippo out of the hellhole in one piece. They eventually gave up. Their brains hurt to much.  
"This is all your fault Sango!" Kagome turned and screeched at her.   
"My fault?!" Sango cried indignantly.  
"Yeah! If you hadn't started that stupid argument and made us fight, none of this would've happened!"  
"You started the argument!" Sango yelled as she started to run back towards the car. Kagome laughed.  
"HA! I knew she'd chicken out." Little did Kagome realize that what Sango was doing was FAR from chickening out. Kagome looked back at Sango, and, to her horror, she saw Sango the trunk and pull out her boomerang bone! (DUN DUN DUN!) Sango held it up and aimed carefully at Kagome.  
"EEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Inu Yasha! SAVE ME!" She screamed as she jumped behind Inu Yasha, who by now was able to stand up. Sango, knowing she couldn't kill Inu Yasha because it wouldn't go over to well with Kagome, threw down her weapon in frustration.  
"Well then, just watch THIS!" She screamed as she rushed toward Inu Yasha. Kagome thought she was going to kill her with her bare hands, and ran away screaming. When she realized Sango wasn't chasing her, she turned around and saw Sango run up, grab Inu Yasha, and give him a big kiss. And it wasn't a shy little kiss, it was full-minute, PG-13 liplock! And, to Kagome's rage, she saw Inu Yasha start to kiss her back!  
"Get your lips off of him!" She yelled as she began running towards Sango. Sango ran up to her, and they were battling again. Inu Yasha, a goofy look on his face, went to go stand next to Miroku, who had a very angry and pouty Shippo hanging from his right hand.  
"So," Miroku said, turning to Inu Yasha, "how was it?"  
"I never knew Sango was so... EXPERIENCED." Inu Yasha replied. "You think there could have been a boy in her life besides Kohaku before her village got destroyed?"  
"I wouldn't doubt it." Miroku said. He then took the cloth off of his right hand, but kept the prayer beads on. This left the hole exposed so that it could be seen, but there was no violent wind. He then grabbed Shippo's tail and pulled it straight out of his hand.   
Inu Yasha looked stupified. "You mean, you coulda done that this whole time, and you didn't do it until just now?!" Inu Yasha screamed.  
"I'm free, I'm freeeeeee!!!" Shippo sang happily as he bounded toward Kagome. The fighting, again, stopped. Kagome rushed forward and scooped the happy little kitsune up in her arms.  
"Shippo, I was so worried about you!" She said as she hugged the little fox. (Yeah.....RIIIIIGHT) She put Shippo down gently and turned to Sango.  
"Uh, Sango?" She began hesitantly. "I,uh, want to, uh apologize for-" She was interrupted by Sesshomaru's voice echoing off of the cliffs.  
"Foolish humans!" He said, everyone's eyes zooming to where he stood atop a cliff. "I will now fight my half-brother and take the Tetsaugia! I will then kill you all with a single swing! MUAAAAAAAHHHAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" He then swooped down and grabbed Inu Yasha by the throat. Inu Yasha screamed in pain, and the others watched in horror as the flesh started burning from his neck, due to Sesshomaru's poisonous claws.   
"Oh my god, we've got to do something!" Kagome cried. (THAT was sure unnessecary, wasn't it?) Sango ran to pick up her boomerang bone, but she wasn't moving fast enough. Kagome didn't have her bow and arrows, and Miroku couldn't use his wind tunnel because he might suck up Inu Yasha. (Plus, if he sucked up Sesshomaru, I would have to kill him.) Shippo, in a frenzy, did the first thing that popped into his head.  
"FOXFIRE!!" Shippo screamed as he ran up to Sesshomaru. Instantly, Sesshomaru's fur caught on fire.   
"AAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Sesshomaru screamed as he through his fur on the ground and started stomping on it. "PUT IT OUT, PUT IT OUT, PUT IT OUUUUUUT!!!" Sesshomaru ran off to find a river or soem source of water to douse the flames.  
"Smooth work, Shippo!" Inu Yasha said. "I coulda handled it though....."  
"Yeah, right Inu Yasha." Kagome said rolling her eyes.  
"Well I could have!"   
"Uh huh."  
And so, they went home because they were all tired from the day's ordeal. Little did they know that back at home, there would be yet another ordeal when they got home.  
  
A/N: DUN DUN DUN! Suspense! Again, I'm sorry it took so long for this chapter to go up, but I suffered from writer's block and laziness. Next time : TRUTH OR DARE!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! 


	4. Truth or Dare

A/N: OH MY GOD!!!! MY FIC GOT REVIEWED BY Kagome5!!! AWESOME! I want to thank Rumiko Takahashi, 'cuz without her, there would be no Inu Yasha, and if there was no Inu Yasha, this fic wouldn't exist.  
  
Ahem. Ok, I better explain this chapter a bit. They all come home tired from the day's ordeal, and then they play truth or dare. This chapter may be short, but it'll probably get interesting. Meeehh heheheheheh.  
  
Kagome, Inu Yasha, Sango, Miroku, and Shippo trudged slowly up the stairs to the door of Kagome's house. They were all very tired, and all slightly irritable, from the day's ordeal. Sango and Kagome both a few scratches and bruises from their earlier fighting. Inu Yasha needed an ice pack for the raw patches of skin on his neck where Sesshomaru's claws had made contact. Miroku needed to borrow some tweezers to pluck the hair's from Shippo's tail out of his wind tunnel. So, needless to say, they were very un-prepared when Kagome suddenly turned around and said, "Hey! I've got an idea!"  
Everyone groaned loudly. They'd had enough of Kagome's ideas for a whole era. "Why don't we-"   
"Hold it! Hold everything!" Miroku said. "The last two ideas you had, at least one of us got injured. Now is this idea going to be one that could get us injured as well?" Kagome stopped and thought for a minute.  
"Nope!" She answered cheerfully. "All I was gonna say is why don't we play Truth or Dare?" Miroku's eyes lit up instantly.   
"OK!" He said enthusiasticly. "I'll go first! Sango! Truth, or dare?" Sango edged nervously away to stand next to Kagome.  
"Uh, maybe I'LL go first." Kagome said noticing the gleam in his eyes. "Um...Inu Yasha. Truth, or dare?" Inu Yasha sat down cross legged on the floor, looking very nervous. Everyone else sat down and watched Inu Yasha as his eyes nervously darted around the room.  
"Uh.....um... do I have to?" Inu Yasha asked nervously.   
"C'mon Inu Yasha!" Miroku said. "Take it like a man!" That got Inu Yasha fired up.  
"DARE!" Inu Yasha shouted. Kagome smiled devilishly as she started to think of a dare for him. Seeing the look on Kagome's face, he began to wish he'd never said dare. Suddenly, a little lightbulb appeared above Kagome's head.  
"Alright Inu Yasha." She said with that same devilish smile on her face. " I dare you to wrestle Miroku!"  
"Is that all?" Inu Yasha asked.  
"With his wind tunnel open." Kagome said evily.  
"You trying to kill me?!" Inu Yasha screamed.  
"You only have to do it for 1 minute." And so Inu Yasha and Miroku wrestled. Inu Yasha managed to not get sucked in. "Ok Inu Yasha," Kagome said, "now it's your turn."  
"Ok, ...Sango!" Inu Yasha said pointing to her. "Truth, or dare?" Sango thought nervously about it before answering.  
"Um......truth." Sango said hesitantly. Inu Yasha smiled much more evily than Kagome had.  
"Ok...here it goes." Inu Yasha said. "Sango, do you like Miroku?" Sango began to blush furiously. It looked she'd been sunburned on her face. "Well?" Inu Yasha said, smiling. It was obvious. Miroku started smiling too.  
"Um...maybe just a little bit..." Sango said, still blushing.   
"I'll take that as a yes." Inu Yasha laughed.   
"Now it's my turn." Sango said viciously as she eyed Kagome. "Kagome, truth, or dare?"  
Kagome didn't even hesitate. "Dare!" She said bravely. Sango smiled rather viciously, and Kagome's face went a little pale.  
"Ok Kagome. I dare you to kiss Inu Yasha!" Sango leaned back with a satisfied smirk on her face. Kagome's face went from a deathly pale to a rather hot pink. Her eyes darted over to Inu Yasha, who was looking a little flushed too.  
"Uh....ok." Kagome said she walked over to where Inu Yasha was sitting and sat back down. Sango looked a little impatient.  
"I'm waiting." She said. Kagome looked nervous.  
"Uh....do I have to?" She said awkwardly.  
"You picked dare, that means you have to!" Sango said.  
"Alright, alright..." Kagome leaned forward and kissed Inu Yasha. He kissed back. And they sat there and kept kissing and kissing. The clock on the wall went from seven o'clock to 7:10.   
"You can stop now!" Sango said. Kagome and Inu Yasha broke abruptly away from each other sat there panting and red in the face. And then they started to lean toward each other again. "Oh brother." Sango said rolling her eyes.   
"Inu Yasha must be having a very good time." Miroku observed.   
"I think Kagome is too." Sango said. Inu Yasha put his arms around Kagome and they were kissing again. Inu Yasha even angled his head to deepen the kiss.  
"Well hello, how is every.....one...." Kagome's mom said as she entered the room and spotted Inu Yasha and Kagome. "Excuse me." Mrs. Higurashi said as she left the room again. (I bet she was off to nostalgically flip through a photo album)   
"Ooooooh....busted!!!" Sango exclaimed as she pointed at Inu Yasha and Kagome. They abruptly stopped again.   
"Oh no." Kagome said smacking her palm against her forehead. She schooched away from Inu Yasha with a very worried look on her face.  
"I think that's enough for tonight." Miroku said standing up. Kagome got up too.  
"Yeah, I, uh, I guess you're right." She said as she walked down the hall to her bedroom. "Goodnight everybody!"  
  
A/N: Ugh. I didn't want to end it right here, but I ran out of ideas. But hey, two chapters done in just two days! Anyway, I know you all want bigger, better, and much more detailed kissing scenes between Inu Yasha and Kagome, and possibly Miroku and Sango. I'll work on that. My creativity doesn't stretch very far into the romantic region, but I'll give it a few tries in later chapters. Next time, "Night Terrors"! See ya soon! 


	5. Night Terrors

A/N: OK, this chapter, I will try to add some better kissing scenes, and a lot of humor. *Prays to God I can pull it off* Heh heh heh. Enjoy! By the way, sorry this chapter took so long. My little brother wouldn't get off of the computer. I seriously had to water him and turn him towards the light, he was turning into a vegetable or something!  
  
Disclaimer: I forgot to do this last chapter. *Watches nervously as lawyers begin to move closer* I don't own Inu Yasha! Inu Yasha and all related characters and names belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Inu Yasha and company are the sole poperties of Rumiko Takahashi. All rights reserved. illegal duplication of Inu Yasha or any related names, characters, or products, is punishable by law. Restrictions apply, results may vary. (Whew! I think that about covers it)  
  
It was about two in the morning when Miroku got up to get a glass of water. He walked into the kitchen, and as he turned the faucet on, he happened to look over and see a dark form slink down the hallway.  
  
"What the....." he said confused. All of a sudden the thing turned red hot eyes on him. Miroku was petrified with fear. He watched as the thing turned it's head away again and continued down the hallway. Miroku stood frozen in fear for about another minute, and a small "wizzing" kind of noise could be heard in the kitchen. (Just try and guess what it was!)Miroku then ran into the living room, where Inu Yasha was asleep on the floor. Miroku shook him gently.  
  
"Inu Yasha, Inu Yasha wake up!" He said quietly. Inu Yasha just kept sleeping. "Come on Inu Yasha, wake up!" Miroku said a bit louder. When that didn't work, he started slapping the hanyou's face. Inu Yasha's eyes opened slightly and focused on Miroku.   
  
"Aaaah, it's an angel..." Inu Yasha said sleepily as he closed his eyes again.  
  
"What the? Man, I'm not an angel!" Miroku said as he continued to slap Inu Yasha across the face. He finally opened his eyes again.  
  
"What?!" He asked Miroku irritably. Miroku was biting his nails nervously, and it took a bonk on the head from Inu Yasha for him to speak.  
  
"I think there's a....a....a monster in the hallway." He said nervously as he huddled on the floor.  
  
"Oh for the love of Mai." Inu Yasha said rolling his eyes.   
  
"Who's Mai?" Miroku asked suspiciously. "Someone Kagome should know about?" Inu Yasha walked across the living room and looked down the hallway.   
  
"I don't see any monster!" He called tauntingly to Miroku. Miroku was flabbergasted. (I hope that's a word)  
  
"But, but, but....." Miroku stammered. Inu Yasha decided to have a little fun with Miroku.  
  
"What did the monster look like?" Inu Yasha asked Miroku seriously.  
  
"It was big and black and had big scary red eyes!" Miroku said. Inu Yasha's face took on a deadly serious look.   
  
"I think I know what it was." Inu Yasha said. He and Miroku sat down in the living room. And Inu Yasha began to tell a ghost story.   
  
(10 minutes later)  
  
"...And then," Inu Yasha said as Miroku sat nervously biting his nails, "the big old insane monster broke out of his chains, and chased Mr. Mooky down into the basement. It was dark, damp, and moist. Then, all of a sudden when Mr. Mooky's back-" Inu Yasha was interrupted by a loud crash from the kitchen. Inu Yasha and Miroku both grabbed each other and screamed.  
  
"AAAAAAHHHH, AAAAAAHHHHH, OOOOOOHHHHH!" They sat still holding onto each other for a few more minutes before Inu Yasha abruptly shoved Miroku away.   
  
"Get your hands off of me!" Inu Yasha exclaimed. Over on the couch, Sango sat up.  
  
"What's going on?" She asked sleepily. "I just heard a loud noise and some screaming. Was that you two?" Inu Yasha and Miroku both broke into indignant shouts.  
  
"What are you crazy? We don't scream, girl! We're men!"  
  
"Uh huh...." Sango said sarcastically. "Why don't we go check out what that crashing noise was?" Sango said as she walked towards the kitchen. As they came to the entrance of the kitchen, they saw what appeared to be a bloody handprint on the wall. There were also bloody footprints leading down the hallway. Inu Yasha, who was fearing the worst, started following the footprints. All of a sudden, Kagome jumped out from around a corner.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Inu Yasha screamed as he jumped backwards and fell over.  
  
"Hey Inu Yasha, what you doing?" Kagome said as Inu Yasha hit the floor. He quickly stood up again.  
  
"Having a heart attack, that's what I'm doing!" He yelled. It was then that he noticed the big red splotch on her pajamas. "Kagome...are.... you ok?" He asked with a worried look on his face.   
  
"Oh yeah, I'm fine, I just spilled some ketchup on my PJs." She answered.  
  
"Ketchup?"  
  
"Yeah, I was hungry so I went into the kitchen to make a sandwich and I was gonna put some ketchup on it, and I dropped the bottle and the ketchup splattered all over."  
  
"You mean that was ketchup all over the walls and floor?!" Inu Yasha cried in dismay. Kagome nodded. "You gave Miroku a heart attack!"   
  
"Hey, you screamed too!" Miroku said.  
  
"Oh, so that was you two screaming?" Kagome asked. Inu Yasha and Miroku quickly tried to convince Kagome that it wasn't them.  
  
"No, of course not!" They said at the same time. "It was, uh, it was..... Sango!" They said as they pointed backwards at her.  
  
"No it wasn't!" Sango cried indignantly. "Your screaming was what woke me up!" Suddenly, Sango noticed a dark form slinking down the hallway. "Hey what's that?" She asked pointing. Miroku's eyes went wide in fear.  
  
"IT'S THE MONSTER!!!!! HIDE!!!!!" He screamed. Kagome looked puzzled.  
  
"What monster? What's going on?" Suddenly she turned around and saw it too. "EVERYBODY INTO THE KITCHEN!!! RUN!!!" They all scrambled over to the kitchen, tripping over each other and trampling Miroku in the process. Once safely in the kitchen, they huddled together in a corner. "What was that thing?!" Kagome cried. She was answered by a loud chorus of "SHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!".  
  
"Do you think it's a demon?" Miroku asked in a whisper.   
  
"No, of course not!" Kagome replied. "There are no demons in the twenty-first century!"  
  
"Oh yeah?" Inu Yasha snapped. "What about that flesh-eating Noh mask?!"  
  
"That was completely different!" Kagome snapped back. "That was a possessed mask that survived from the past, all the way to the present!"  
  
"Well, we're never gonna find out what it is if we just stand here!" Sango barked.   
  
"Sango's right." Miroku said. "We've got to get it!"  
  
"Well then, we'd better split up, we can cover more of the house that way." Kagome said.  
  
"I'M NOT GOING OUT THERE BY MYSELF!!!" Miroku cried.  
  
"Well, then, we'll go in pairs!" Inu Yasha said in annoyance. "Miroku, you go with.....Sango." He said, pointing at Sango. Miroku nervously edged closer to Sango. Sango nervously edged farther away.  
  
"Since Miroku and Sango are going together, that leaves you with me, Inu Yasha." Kagome said, trying to hide the grin on her face. "Miroku, Sango, you go look down the hall. Inu Yasha and I will check in the well house. Just in case it slipped out the door while we weren't looking." (try and guess the REAL reason Kagome wants to "check" in the well house!! Heh heh.)   
  
Inside the well house, it was dark, damp, and moist. It was also pretty cold. Kagome shivered in her PJs. She huddled closer to Inu Yasha for warmth.  
  
"So, uh.... I don't see anything in here, do you?" Inu Yasha asked.   
  
"Nope. I don't." Kagome said. "Do you think we should go help Miroku and Sango?" Inu Yasha shook his head.  
  
"Nah, let's wait here a while. Maybe the thing will come in here."  
  
"Yeah, OK, we'll wait a little while." Kagome said. (there's not going to be any action right away, so we'll go see what Sango and Miroku are doing! sound good?)  
  
Sango walked down the hallway, peering in every room as she went. Miroku trailed nervously behind her. Miroku kept bumping into Sango, and edging right up next to her.   
  
"WHY do you keep doing that?!" Sango cried in annoyance.   
  
"I'm SCARED, OK?!" Miroku shouted back. Suddenly, there was a loud thump from down the hall, near Sota's bedroom.   
  
"What was that?!" Miroku cried, grabbing Sango's shoulder. Sango's heart did some flip-flops for a minute, before she snapped herself back to her senses.   
  
"Get your hands off of me!!" Sango screamed, slapping Miroku's hands away. There was another thump, this time at the door to Sota's room.  
  
"What is it?" Miroku asked in a frightened voice.   
  
"I don't know." Sango said, squinting. "It's too dark to see."  
  
Suddenly the pair were confronted by the large red eyes of the "monster". Sango screamed. Miroku screamed and jumped up into Sango's arms. (You ever watch the original Scooby Doo cartoons? Where they always split up and Shaggy always gets stuck with Scooby, and then they find something scary, and Scooby jumps and Shaggy catches him? That's pretty much what this scenario looked like.) There was a slight pause while none of them moved, then the "monster" turned and continued to slink down the hallway. About a minute after it was gone they turned their heads to look at each other.  
  
"Heh heh. I guess we're both a little jumpy huh?" Miroku asked. Sango answered him by dropping him on the floor. They both remained where they were for about another minute, Miroku on the floor, Sango standing slightly to the left of him. (spoiling Miroku's view of anything, I might add. EEEWWW) The two were both lost in thought. All Sango could think about was how Miroku's heart had been beating like a hummingbird's and, despite herself, she blushed a bit. Miroku, on the other hand, was only able to think *DAMN! That was my chance!* (he never stops, does he? Like the Energizer bunny, he just keeps going and going and going.....) Sango abruptly brought herself back to her senses.   
  
"Hey, get up!" She said, turning to face Miroku. "We're supposed to be looking for the monster, remember?!"   
  
"What?" Miroku said a bit dazed, seeing as his mind was still wrapped up in dirty thoughts. "OH! Oh.. yeah. Just a second...." Miroku straightened up, and they continued to make their way slowly back down the hall. About a step a minute. (Sigh... no more action here for a little while. Back to the well house!)  
  
Kagome was still huddling next to Inu Yasha. They had seen no sign of movement in the well house. Kagome was shivering harder now, even though she was pressed right up against Inu Yasha.  
  
"What's the matter Kagome?" He asked softly. "Still cold?"  
  
"No, I'm SCARED." Kagome in a tiny, scared, voice. (wow, that was probably redundant to have her say she was scared in a "scared" voice.)  
  
"What for? If that monster or demon comes in here, it's not like you have anything to worry about with me here." Inu Yasha replied. Kagome tried to huddle closer to Inu Yasha, but this was impossible, as she was already pressed right up against him.  
  
"It's not that."Kagome replied " It's just that being in the well house kinda creeps me out." Inu Yasha was puzzled.  
  
"Why does it creep you out? You travel between our two times so much, you spend a lot of time in here." Kagome shook her head.  
  
"Not really. I only spend enough time in here to jump in or out of the well. I don't really hang around in between." Inu Yasha blushed a bit in embarassment.  
  
"Uh....no. I guess you wouldn't." He said rather stupidly. Kagome didn't seem to care. She was too busy staring at the well, as though afraid a monster was about to jump out of it. After another minute or two Inu Yasha asked "So, uh.... why does the well house creep you out so much?"  
  
"I never spent a whole lot of time in here when I was little. Gramps always told us to stay out of the well house. I probably wouldn't have even gone into the well house, except that I had to go in to get Buyo out. While I was looking for him, a demon came out of the well, grabbed me and pulled me in." At this point in the story, Kagome began shiver violently. Inu Yasha put an arm around her to try and calm her down.   
  
"And it pulled you back to my time?" Inu Yasha asked, already knowing the answer. Kagome nodded. "Well like I said, you don't have to worry while I'm here." Again, Kagome nodded.  
  
"I know. But it would be so much better if morning would get here." All of a sudden, a strong cold, wind sprang up, and blew through the well house. Kagome shivered even more, prompting Inu Yasha to put his fire rat cloak around her. She shivered a little less, but it was quite obvious she was still cold. So... Inu Yasha put his arm back around her. This time Kagome stopped shivering completely, and instead of continuing to stare at the well, looked up at Inu Yasha.  
  
"So Kagome, you still cold?" Inu Yasha asked kindly.   
  
"No."  
  
"Well, that's good. It is kinda cold in here." Kagome was rather shocked at this sudden display of kindness. *Inu Yasha's acting really weird. It must be becasue he's losing so much sleep.* Kagome thought.   
  
"Inu Yasha, you're acting really weird." She said. "Are you feeling OK?" Inu Yasha snorted.  
  
"Feh. Of course I am." *Now he's acting like his normal self.* Kagome thought. Kagome was getting rather sleepy, and Inu Yasha's yawning only made it worse. She couldn't help herself. She closed her eyes and rested her head on Inu Yasha's shoulder. *Aaaaaaahhhhh, much better.* Kagome thought sleepily.  
  
"Uh.. Kagome?" Inu Yasha said slowly. Kagome opened her eyes irritably.  
  
"What?! Can't you see I'm trying to sleep?!" Kagome yelled. Inu Yasha looked at her with a shocked look on his face. *Huh? She was sleeping?!* He thought incredulously. Then he embarrasedly corrected himself. *Well of COURSE she was just sleeping. It IS almost three in the morning.* He thought, getting annoyed. *And it's not like she really likes me anyway.* Kagome looked at him irritably.  
  
"What?" Inu Yasha asked in his usual, insolent tone.  
  
"Why do you keep looking at me like that?! It's really annoying!" Kagome said angrily. By now Inu Yasha was getting REALLY mad.  
  
"Look, do you wanna keep sitting here in the well house, or are we gonna help Miroku and Sango?!" Inu Yasha demanded. Kagome jumped to her feet.  
  
"Well FINE! Let's go!" She yelled angrily as she stomped out the door. Inu Yasha leapt up.  
  
"Hey! Wait up!" He called after her.  
  
"SIT!" BWAM!  
  
"Why you..."  
  
"SIT!" BOOSH!  
  
"AGH! MY BACK!!!" After about five minutes, Inu Yasha got up and followed her out of the well house.  
  
***  
  
(*Tin cans and other assorted objects rain down from the angry audience* AGH! OW! I'M SORRY! OOOOWWW! I'M SORRY!! It was just not going the way I planned!! I screwed up! OOOWWW!! I swear on all things holy that I'll put it in next chapter!! AGH!!! *Loud cries of "BOOOO!!!" mix with the barrage of objects* OOOHH, OWW, AGH!!! It was DOOMED from the start!! DOOMED I tell you!!! DOOMED DOOMED DOOMED!!!!! OW HEY! OK, I'm going I'm going. But first, the conclusion of this chapter. *more cries of "BOOOOOO!!!"* EXIT! STAGE RIGHT! *Runs away screaming*)  
  
***  
  
Back in the house, an annoyed Kagome and Inu Yasha were greeted by a frightened Sango and Miroku.  
  
"Kagome, Inu Yasha! Thank God you're back!" They said at the same time. They had just torn in from the other room when they said this.  
  
"What now?!" Inu Yasha and Kagome said together irritably. Sango and Miroku looked at them questioningly.   
  
"What's wrong with you two?" Sango asked. Inu Yasha and Kagome both gave her very icy glares.  
  
"Nothing." They said at the same time. "Now what's the problem?" (Referring to two people as though they were one person is fun. Try it!) Since Sango was afflicted with a sudden loss of voice, most likely due to their cold glares, MIroku answered for her.  
  
"The monster went into Sota's room!!" Miroku exclaimed in a frightened tone of voice. Kagome crossed her arms in annoyance.  
  
"Who cares?! Now Sota won't bug me anymore!" She said irritably. "He's so annoying anyway!" Sango, affected deeply by this last statement, suddenly overcome her sudden voice loss. (Ugh. I'm being redundant again.)  
  
"How can you even say that?!" She cried, shocked. "He's your brother!"  
  
"Yeah an annoying brother." Kagome answered. It was obvious Sango was quite ready to whack Kagome upside the head with her boomerang bone, so Miroku intervened.   
  
"Let's just take a look, shall we?" He said, turning to go back down the hall, dragging Sango along behind him. (What do you know? For all his perverseness, he actually has some uses! Maybe even some decency. *Whoah, let's not go TOO far*)  
  
When they got to Sota's room, Sango and Miroku ducked behind Kagome and Inu Yasha.  
  
"Will you knock it off?!" Inu Yasha said irritably. He threw open the door and walked in, his hand on the Tetsuaiga. Inside it was far too dark for anyone, except for maybe Inu Yasha, to see anything. Kagome walked and ran her hand along the wall, looking for the light switch. When she found it, she flicked it on. And there before them was.... Kirara! (I spell it the way they spell it in the manga.)  
  
"HUH?!" They all cried, dumbstruck.  
  
"Kirara?!" Sango cried in dismay. "I didn't know Kirara was here too!" (Does anyone know what gender Kirara is? Please let me know!)  
  
"You mean it was Kirara causing all the trouble?!" Kagome asked, confused.   
  
"I guess so." Sango answered.   
  
"It sure is creepy how Kirara's eyes glow in the dark." Miroku said. "But that doesn't quite explain it. What I saw was, big, and definitely wasn't Kirara, even if they were in their transformed state." They all stopped to ponder this, when Shippo came in from the other room. (I just realized he wasn't included in this chapter yet.)   
  
"Hey did you guys, her something just now?" He asked. Suddenly, there was a thumping kind of sound, like footsteps. On...the roof.....  
  
***  
  
On the roof, Sesshomaru stood there while I (that's right me!) paced around. Walking in circles was probably confusing everyone inside the house, but did I care? NO! We were currently faced with a much bigger problem.  
  
"OK, think Sesshomaru, think. Where do you last remember seeing Rin?" I asked him. Sesshomaru was thoughtful for a moment. We had forgotten where we left Rin. "Come on Sesshomaru, can you remember?"  
  
Suddenly, it hit Sesshomaru.  
  
"Oh no." Sesshomaru said. "I think we left her at that night club..." I was a bit shocked by this statement.  
  
"Which one?!" I asked. "The one with the strippers?!" Sesshomaru nodded. "POOR RIN!!! Poor young, impressionable Rin! We've gotta go get her!" And with that we tore off down the street, going to rescue poor Rin from the horrible adult-rated themes.  
  
***  
  
Back inside the house, Kagome, Inu Yasha, Miroku, Sango, and Shippo, were all looking up at the ceiling.   
  
"Ah, it was probably nothing." Inu Yasha said.   
  
"Well, good night everybody." Kagome said. She then kicked them all out of Sota's room, then went into her own room. Shippo bounced in after her, followed by Inu Yasha. Miroku and Sango went to go sleep out in the living room.   
  
So everybody went to sleep, and the night's terrifying, confusing, and stupid events came to an end.  
  
A/N: OK, I know the part where we left Rin at a night club was pointless, (and yes, I HAVE allied myself once again with Sesshomaru) but I felt I had to include Shippo, and I needed an excuse for why he would be up after all of the action was over. And I needed an excuse for the excuse. Plus, the thought of Sesshomaru going to a night club was so wacky I HAD to include it in the fic. Next time, Kagome has a nightmare, Inu Yasha comforts her. A hopefully short chapter with tons of romance. In hindsight, it would be wise in future fics to not mix humor with romance. It sends the fic's chemistry into a downward spiral, unless you're really talented. *Rotten tomatoes and other vegetables, as well as various other objects once again barrage the author, hurled by the angry readers of this fic.* OW!!! I THOUGHT WE WERE PAST ALL THIS CRAP! AUGH!! HEY!!! OOOWW!!! mommy...OH AUGH EEEEEE!!!! YOU CAN'T GET AWAY WITH THIS!!! I'M CALLING MY LAWYER!!! oh...wait...I'm too poor to afford a lawyer..... well... well...I'M CALLIN' ANDY THE HITMAN!!!! YEAH, HE'LL BUST YOU UP REAL GOOD!!! THE ONLY WAY TO SPARE YOURSELVES A PAINFUL DEATH, IS TO REVIEW THIS FIC!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! 


	6. Sesshomaru's New Arm

A/N: I decided to trash my original idea for this chapter. To anyone who was looking forward to my original idea: oh well. Conjure up a mental image of Kagome and Inu Yasha kissing and be happy with it. This chapter will instead revolve around Sesshomaru getting his arm back. He'll be needing it for chapter 8. *malevolent grin*  
  
Disclaimer: WHY DO YOU LAWYERS EVEN BOTHER ME LIKE THIS?! I'M POOR!! YOU WON'T GET ANY MONEY FROM SUING ME!!!!!!! *sighs* I don't own Inu Yasha or anything related to Inu Yasha. That should do it. HAPPY YOU BLOODSUCKING POCKET RAIDERS?!?!?!  
  
It was 3 in the morning when I came up with another screwed up idea of a chapter. It would be chapter eight. But for the upcoming chappie, Sesshomaru would need some "preparing". (not in a BAD way you SICKO!) I got up at eight in the morning, ate some cereal, and then stepped out the door, before turning around and going back inside because I had forgotten my pants. (Yup. I'm not a morning person)   
  
After putting on pants and again walking out the door, I went to find Sesshomaru. He and I had some buisness to take care of. Yes, we were going to get him a new arm! He'd need it for chapter 8. (again *malevolent grin*) I searched for him for a few hours. I found him sitting in a dark movie theater. He wasn't really paying attention to the movie. I suspect he was just hiding from all the people who kept mistaking him for a woman. He was just sitting there. But what was he eating? Could it be...? YES! POCKY!!!!  
  
I snuck up behind him. Then at just the right moment, I snatched his pocky. I then ate happily. He apparently hadn't figured out where it went yet.  
  
"Hey Fluffy, what you doing?" I asked from behind him. He visibly jumped almost five feet in the air. Then he turned around and saw me, and his left eye began to twitch. (I'm sure not on the ball today, huh?) When I noticed his claws were starting to glow that bright, venomous green color, I grabbed the nearest thing I could find and held it up in front of my face. Turned out to be Rin. (YAY! A human sheild!)  
  
It was then that I realized I had the advantage. "Now now, Sesshomaru..." I said. "You wouldn't want to hurt Rin, would you?" He lowered his claws and they stopped glowing. He growled, and I realized I might not want to put Rin down just yet.   
  
"What do you want?" He said in that low, deadly growl that made you want to run away screaming.   
  
"Now that's better. First, you have to swear you won't kill me!" I said. Sesshomaru barely nodded his head. "I'll take that as a yes." I said again. "Second, you will come with me to get you a new arm." Sesshomaru relaxed a bit, but I still held Rin in front of my face.  
  
"What for?" He asked suspiciously.  
  
"Let's just say, you'll be needing it." I said, grinning. He raised an eyebrow skeptically. I put Rin down, and then got up to leave the movie theater. Sesshomaru followed with Rin trailing along behind him. I led him back to Kagome's house.  
  
"What are we doing at the human filly's house?" He complained. "It reeks of hanyou here." He glared at me angrily.  
  
"Awww, you're so cute when you pout like that!" I joked. Seeing the look on his face, I grabbed Rin again. "Don't worry." I said from behind Rin. "We're not going inside. We won't run into Inu Yasha." He relaxed a little bit, so I put Rin down.  
  
I led him and Rin into the well house. I stepped in front of the well.  
  
"What are we doing in here?" Sesshomaru asked. "This well has sealed itself, remember?" I ignored him and climbed into the well.  
  
"Whoa. Kagome should invest in a ladder for this thing." I said hanging off the edge of the well. Then I turned to Sesshomaru. "True Sesshomaru, the well HAS been sealed. But I'm the author, so I can do what I want." Sesshomaru growled and grabbed me by the front of my shirt.  
  
"Then take me back." He growled. I couldn't grab Rin for protection, so I had to try and squirm out of his hold. Not like it worked.  
  
"No can do Sessh." I said after giving up. He shook me violently. "I mean Sesshomaru!!" I exclaimed. He looked about ready to kill me, so I kicked him in this shin. Not very hard though. He dropped me, and I fell the rest of the way into the well.  
  
"C'ya Sesshomaru! I'll be back later with your new arm!" I shouted from the bottom of the well.  
  
************* In the Sengoku Jidai*************  
  
I climbed out of the well. With a lot of difficulty, I might add. I headed off in the direction of Kaede's village. Bugs and animals and demons, oh my!  
  
After getting lost in the woods several times, I finally found my way to the village. It took me about the same amount it took me to find the village to find Kaede's hut. Kaede was also running around Kagome's time, so the hut was vacant. I searched around for a while.   
  
  
  
What was I looking for, you ask? The black pearl of course! The portal to the netherworld! Why was I looking for it? My, you ARE the nosy one. I searched around for about an hour before I found it in Kaede's little firepit thingie.  
  
"Success!" I shouted happily. I put the pearl in my pocket and ran back to well. I found it after getting lost several more times. I jumped in and went back to Kagome's time.  
  
************* Back in Kagome's time**************  
  
I found Sesshomaru sitting in the well house, looking extremely bored. I saw Sesshomaru look up when he heard thumps and "oof!" inside the well. I had just started to climb up out of the well when he reached down and pulled me out of the well by my shirt.   
  
"Where is my replacement arm?" He asked in a low growl. He was so scary looking at that moment, I couldn't even reply at first. "WELL?!?!" He shouted, shaking me.  
  
"Slight mistake, we need Jaken." I told him. With an angry growl he dropped me and left the well house. He came back soon after with Jaken. Before Sesshomaru could harrass me again, I grabbed Jaken's staff and pulled the black pearl out of my pocket.   
  
Holding up the staff, I touched it to the pearl. There was fancy black light and a cool portal opened. I stepped inside and soon after was inside Sesshomaru and Inu Yasha's father's remains. "Come on, where is it, where is it?!" I asked myself, searching through the piles of bones.  
  
After a long, looooong while, I found what I was looking for. Holding it up like it was lost pirate treasure or the holy grail, I shouted: "Success!!" I had found Sesshomaru's arm! And it appeared to be in the same condition it was when it had been cut off by Inu Yasha.  
  
"Hmmmmm...." I said to myself. "Apparently, nothing rots here. Interesting." I carried the arm out of the portal. Don't ask me how I got back. Once back in the well house, Sesshomaru snatched the arm from me.  
  
"Is this my replacement arm?" He asked me, examining it.  
  
"Correction." I replyed, slipping the black pearl into my pocket. "It's your arm."  
  
"My arm?" He asked, confused. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, I went into your father's remains. You and Inu Yasha fought there, and he cut off your arm, remember? Well, it was still there. And now, we just gotta reattach it." I told him matter-of-factly.   
  
"And how are we going to do that?" He asked me. I smiled and wordlessly took Tenseiga out of it's sheath. "What are you doing?" He demanded.  
  
"Just be patient, will ya?" I told him. I rolled up his sleeve and held his arm up to the spot it had been cut off. "Now then." I began to explain to him. "Tenseiga is a sword that can heal wounds, can't cut, and can bring people back from the dead, right?"   
  
Sesshomaru nodded in reply. I handed him the Tenseiga. "So, if Tenseiga can heal wounds, than shouldn't it be able to reattach your arm?" I said to him. Wordlessly, Sesshomaru sliced across the spot with the Tenseiga. There was a strange eerie blue kind of glow. And what do you know, his arm had been reattached! I was bemaing proudly.  
  
"So am I a genius or what?" I asked beaming. When there was no answer, I looked around the well house. Sesshomaru, Rin, and Jaken had all left. "Oh well." I said. "He'll more than make up for it in chapter eight!" I said, grinning evilly. "Besides," I added to myself, "I've still got his pocky!" I said, taking it out of my pocket.  
  
After finishing off the last of the pocky, I left the well house. "And, now, time to prepare for chapter seven!' I said, still grinning evilly.  
  
A/N: OK, that was chappie six. Like I said, sorry for trashing my original idea for this chapter. Oh, and Andy is no longer a hitman. He's wroking for me as an editor and *cough* censorer to help keep this fic under control. And I know that the black pearl is s'posed to have disappeared, and there isn't another one, but this is a fanfiction. Note: fanFICTION! Meaning not real. And, not always accurate. Besides, I'm the author, I can do whatever I want with this fic, so nyah! :P Oh, and don't forget to click that little blue button at the bottom and leave a review! Reviews inspire quicker updates! 


	7. A Bottle of Saki And a Karaoke Party Gon...

A/N: Sorry this chapter took a long time. But, I promise you, this will be an extremely funny chapter.Oh, and I've hired Jared the security guard to help keep order. As I said in the ending author note on the last chapter, Andy the hitman has now been fired as a hitman, and hired as a censor for the fic, 'cuz this chapter might just get a little *cough cough*. Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Inu Yasha or anything like that, but for now... *genetically alters little brother to look exactly like Sesshomaru, and dresses him up like Sesshomaru* There. *drools and glomps him like no tomorrow* Oh, and I DO own the Magic Keyboard. So to all those lawyers out there :P  
  
The day passed by pretty un-eventfully for our favorite Inu Yasha cast-members until about 4 in the afternoon, when someone came through the window, shattering it in the process.   
  
"Ow." I said getting up off the floor. "Note to self: Catapaults HURT!" They all stared at me rather stupidly. "Oh, sorry about the window." They all continued to stare. Finally, Shippo broke the silence.  
  
"What are you doing here?" He asked. I grinned rather creepily, sending shivers down everyone's spines.  
  
"Well. I came here because I figured, you all deserve a break after what I've continuously put you guys through." They all looked at me a bit nervously. "Don't worry!" I said, seeing the expressions on their faces. "It's just a party!" At these words, their faces brightened.  
  
"Oh boy, a party! Will there be food?!" Shippo asked eagerly. I scratched my head.  
  
"Sure, why not?" I said. Shippo bounced around happily.  
  
"OH BOY! I want cake, and ice cream, and candy, and cookies, and..." Inu Yasha stopped him by bopping him over the head with his fist.   
  
"Thanks Inu Yasha. Now, there'll be food, music, dancing, drinks, and karaoke!" I said reading off of a little check list. "Oh, and it's a private party. Only the ones on the guest list can come."  
  
  
  
"How do you expect to enforce that?" Kagome asked.   
  
  
  
"I'm glad you asked Kagome. Allow me to introduce Jared the security guard." In walked an average looking guy about 18 years old, dressed in a security guard uniform. "Meet Jared the security guard. He'll be keeping out the general public during the party." Jared shook hands with everyone, and then left.  
  
  
  
"So, where are you gonna get all this stuff?" Kagome asked, looking over the check list. I smiled one of my creepy smiles again.  
  
"Allow me to answer that question for you." I said, still smiling. "Now, what I'm about to show you is a MEGA SECRET! You cannot tell ANYONE!" I said. They nodded in agreement. "OK. Behold, the secret to my complete control over your lives! TA DAAA!" I pulled out a shimmering, rainbow-colored keyboard. They all stared at me again.  
  
"So what is it?" Miroku asked.   
  
  
  
"It's my magic keyboard! With it, I can create anything I want, and control anyONE I want. " I said with an evil grin. "Allow me to demonstrate." I took the keyboard and smacked Shippo over the head with it.   
  
"OW! WAAAAAAA!!! What was that for?!?!" Shippo cried while rubbing his head. I ignored him and typed something on the keyboard. Suddenly Shippo stopped crying. His eyes rolled back in his head, and then he picked up a chair and started to beat Inu Yasha with it.  
  
  
  
"OW! Why you little runt, whadda ya think you're doing?!?!" Inu Yasha screamed.  
  
"It's not his fault. He is under the control of my *sparkle sparkle* MAGIC KEYBOARD!" I said. I then smacked Shippo on the head with the keyboard again. He instantly returned to normal.  
  
"Ow. My head hurts..." Shippo mumbled. I grinned evilly.   
  
"And that's not all it can do! Watch." I said. I waved it in the air in front of me, and then typed in something. A rosary with white beads and red teeth appeared in my hand. I then placed it around Miroku's neck, and whispered something in Sango's ear. She grinned evily, and faced Miroku.  
  
"Fetch boy!" She said with an evil smile. Instantly Miroku went sailing through the air, going through one of the walls and through a tree before stopping by smacking into a bus. I was laughing my head off as everyone stared at the Miroku-shaped holes in the wall and the tree.   
  
"There. Now that the demonstartion is over..." I said after I had collected myself. "...we need a guest list." Using my keyboard, I produced a list with several names on it. I grabbed it and held it up to my face. After Miroku had staggered back through the hole in the wall, I read it out loud to them. "Tonight's party guests will be: Inu Yasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Shippo, Myoga, Sesshomaru, Rin, and Jaken. And I will be the DJ." I annouced, rolling up the list.  
  
"How come you're letting Sesshomaru come?!" Inu Yasha asked, outraged.   
  
"Hmmm. Well Inu Yasha, I wouldn't expect a male such as your self to understand, but Sesshomaru has to come because he is really really really....." I trailed off and started drooling.  
  
"HEY! STOP IT! YOU'RE GETTING ME WET!!!" Shippo whined. He quickly moved out of the way. I once again had to collect myself.  
  
"First, the refreshments." I said. Using my keyboard, I produced two tables. One was stock-piled with snacks and food. On the other table, there was a plethora of drinks.  
  
"Hey." Kagome said, picking up a bottle of saki. "If Shippo and Rin are going to be at the party, why is there saki?"  
  
"Please direct your attention to the other drinks. There's soda, water, and various non-alchoholic beverages for the kids and those who wish to remain sober." I said in a matter-of-fact way. "Now to take care of the music and the karaoke machine. Once, again I used my keyboard. "And, I think we should have a stage."   
  
Once I got everything setup, they just couldn't wait for the party to start.  
  
"So, when does it start? When does it start?!" Shippo asked excitedly.   
  
"Let us check the schedule." I said, pulling a peice of paper out of my pocket. "Hmmm... according to my schedule, the party will start at 9:30, and it'll end when they," I said, pointing at Kagome, Inu Yasha, Miroku, and Sango," and all the other adults pass out."  
  
"Why would they pass out?" Shippo asked, confused. I smiled creepily at him.  
  
"Too much dancing and heavy drinking. Plus, if it goes on too long, I'll just whack them all over the head with a blunt object." I said, still smiling. Shippo laughed. The remainder of the afternoon went by all too slowly for our cast-members. Everyone skipped dinner, because they'd just be eating the stuff at the snack table anyway.   
  
At 9 o'clock, Jared the security guard roped off the hallway while Andy stood at the front door to wait for the people who were invited to arrive. Kagome's mom, grandpa, and Sota all tried to get into their living room to see what was going on, but Jared stopped them.   
  
"I'm sorry, but you're not on the guest list." Jared said, looking at the list that was now attached to a clipboard.  
  
"Guest list? What's goin' on?" Sota said, trying to get past him. At 9:15, the guests started to arrive. Myoga was the first one to get there.   
  
"Hey, where's Myoga?" Shippo asked.   
  
"Down here!" Came a small voice from underneath Shippo's foot. Shippo lifted up his foot and scraped Myoga off.  
  
"Oh. Sorry Myoga." Shippo said. Myoga then took refuge in the safety of Inu Yasha's hair. 10 minutes later, Sesshomaru, Rin, and Jaken arrived.  
  
"Ah Sesshomaru. Just in time." I said as he walked in. I casually squashed Jaken with my foot before showing Sesshomaru and Rin into the living room. I made sure Inu Yasha and Sesshomaru were at opposite ends of the room. They all got to mingle for 5 more minutes.  
  
At 9:30, I got up on the stage and grabbed the microphone. "OK everybody, listen up. I hope you all enjoy yourselves, and I understand that there will be alcohol consumption tonight, but please, we have children here, so let's try to keep it decent. Now let's get this party started!" I pressed a few buttons and several colored lights attached to the ceiling came on. I popped in a CD with some cool music on it.   
  
Some of them started dancing. Shippo and Rin were over in a corner, doing some little kid dance. I went and stood by Sesshomaru, who was leaning against a wall. I did the same. *Funny* I thought. *Inu Yasha's already drinking* After Miroku had been slapped for the sixth time by Sango, he went and joined Inu Yasha. Myoga came hopping over and jumped onto my shoulder.  
  
"Tigris, why aren't you joining in the festivities?" Myoga asked. He seemed to be holding a tiny bottle of saki. At least, I hoped it was saki.   
  
"I don't dance. It's just not my thing." I answered him. Kagome and Sango moved over to the saki, while Inu Yasha and Miroku went back into the center of the room. I noticed Shippo trying to sneak some saki, so I went over and bopped him on the head.   
  
"HEY! What was that for?!" Shippo whined.  
  
"You're sticking to water and pop just like Rin." I said. Shippo pouted.   
  
An hour later, all of the adults, with the exception of Sesshomaru, were drunk. I was popping in tunes at random, already getting bored. Suddenly, the door burst open, and Kikyo stormed in.  
  
"KIKYO?!?! What the hell are YOU doing here?!?! And how'd you get past Jared?"Kikyo smiled one of her extremely creepy smiles.  
  
"Your so-called 'guard' was easy enough to dispose of. And as for why I am here, you didn't actually think you were throwing a party without inviting me, did you?" Kikyo said laughing. (oooohhh...*shudder*)  
  
"Well, uh, I didn't actually intend on inviting you, and... you're not on the guest list.... I'm afraid you'll have to... l-leave." I said, rather un-nerved by Kikyo's smile. She got a very dark look on her face, and waves of power were radiating from her. "I mean...uh.....join the party!" I said quickly. She got that creepy smile back on her face, and headed for the refreshment tables.   
  
No sooner had Kikyo left me alone when Naraku came through the open door. "SOMEBODY SHUT THAT DOOR!!!" I screamed. Andy did so. I then turned towards Naraku. "You were not invited to this party, and I demand you leave this instant or I'll beat the shit out of you!!" I screamed at him. Suddenly Inu Yasha's voice floated over from the refreshment table.  
  
"Hey Naraku! *hic* Join the party!" He called. I pulled on my hair in disbelief.  
  
"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND?!?!" I screamed at him.   
  
"Rin learned a new word!" Rin said from across the room. *DAMMIT!!! THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!* I then noticed the empty saki bottle in Inu Yasha's hand. *Well, that explains that.* I thought.  
  
I stood banging my head against the wall while Inu Yasha and Miroku socialized with Naraku, while Kikyo and Naraku were both drinking themselves stupid. And then, in through the broken window, came Koga. I would have normally tackled him, but due to the slight concussion, I let him come in.   
  
"Why is it that all these people keep coming in, when they're not supposed to be ALLOWED in?" I asked no one in particular.  
  
"Because, you didn't think you were having a party without us, did you?" Koga said. I screamed in frustration.  
  
"AGH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!" I screamed. I grabbed Koga by his furry wolf tail and hauled him up onto the stage. "Cocoa puffs, you be DJ." I said.  
  
"Cocoa puffs?" Koga asked.   
  
"Sorry. Your name makes me think of Cocoa Puffs." I answered. Although I soon realized making Koga DJ was a mistake. He somehow managed to make the CD player and turn-tables explode. I stomped over to where Rin and Shippo were standing, covered their ears, and shouted a stream of curses so foul that it made the plants growing in Kagome's house wither and die. Even the fake ones.  
  
I shoved Koga off the stage, and grabbed the microphone. "Ladies, gentleman, and demons, due to...er...technical difficulties, we will now be moving on to karaoke. Koga will NOT be participating in this event." I said, shooting him a dirty look.  
  
Surprisingly, Sesshomaru went first, accompanied by Jaken. They sang The Fluffy Song. (which is a really funny fanfic. I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys a good laugh) Jaken had a really horrible and annoying high-pitched singing voice. I grabbed his freaky two-headed staff and fried him with it. Although I soon realized that doing so was also a mistake.  
  
He was obviously drunk, since he started singing what can only be described as the most horrible parody of a song from Winnie the Pooh it has ever been my misfortune to hear. (you know the one: "I'm just a little black rain cloud....")   
  
"I'm just a little black toad..." Jaken began. I smacked him over the head with his staff, and then proceeded to viciously beat him over the head with it. Sesshomaru grabbed the staff back, seeing as if he didn't he would be short one servant.  
  
Sango and Kagome each did a few regular songs, much to my gratitude. I had become quiet good at pronouncing "Arigato" by the time Kikyo walked up onto the stage. I screamed in horror. I tried to drag her off the stage, but to no avail.  
  
"NO NO NO!!! KIKYO PLUS KARAOKE EQUALS BAD!!!!!" I screamed. She ignored me. I decided to just wait and see what would happen. Then I got a better idea. I snatched the empty bottle of saki out of Inu Yasha's hand, and snuck up behind Kikyo on the stage. Just as she had started to sing a song by System of a Down, I pointed toward the refreshemnt tables and screamed "WHO'S THAT HAIRY BEAST EATING ALL THE CHIPS?!?!" Everyone turned to see where I was pointing, and while their backs were turned I broke the saki bottle over Kikyo's head.  
  
"Say, what happened to Kikyo?" Kagome said after they had all turned around. I dragged Kikyo's limp body off the stage.  
  
"She *grunt* passed out. *mmph!* I think she just *huuuuhhh* had a little too much to drink." I answered her, dragging Kikyo towards the broken window. "So long Kikyo!" I said, chucking her out the window. "Yeah, I'll miss you like a hernia." I mumbled under my breath.  
  
A little while after I had disposed of Kikyo, Inu Yasha and Miroku were now drunkenly trying to climb up onto the stage for a song. *This won't end well..* I thought to myself. After they had managed to find their way onto the stage, Miroku, the slightly more sober of the two, grabbed the microphone.  
  
"S'cuse me. Could I have your attention here?" He said, slurring. (Like I said: drunk) Everyone looked up at him. "Before we begin, we'd like to dedicate this song to Naraku." He said. I stared at him, looking very disturbed. What the hell were they doing?  
  
My question was soon answered. Inu Yasha and Miroku were doing a song by N'Sync. Or something like it. They had replaced the lyrics with some of their own, and at points I had to cover Rin and Shippo's ears. And every time they got to the part where the normal lyrics say "Bye bye bye", THEY sang "Die die die". One look over at the snack table told everyone in the room that even though he was under the infulence, Naraku was NOT happy.   
  
Just as Naraku got ready to attack, I rushed up onto the stage and grabbed the microphone away from them.  
  
"OK OK, that's enough. Who would like to do a song now?" Inu Yasha got off the stage grumbling, but Miroku stayed where he was. I sighed and rubbed my temples. "Y'know before this is over I'm gonna need a WHOLE lot of heavy-duty aspirin." I said to no one in particular.  
  
"You shouldn't talk to yourself." Koga said from where he was standing by the stage. "People will wonder." I turned and glared at him. If looks could kill Koga would have died a horrible and most gruesome death. Not being able to hold back any longer, I tackled Koga. Once he had been knocked to the floor, I started beating the shit out of him. It took Kagome, Sango, Shippo, and Sesshomaru to pull me off of him.   
  
"I'm going to get some aspirin." I mumbled as I walked out of the room. When I came back, I noticed that Miroku had indeed intended to sing another song. I soon realized he was singing "Hot in Here", by Nelly. Soon he got to the part with ''It's getting hot in here. So take off all your clothes.'' Only when HE sang it, he said "It's getting hot in here. So take off all your clothes. And that means you Sango."   
  
All the hells broke loose. It took Andy, me, Kagome, Inu Yasha, Sesshomaru, Shippo, Rin, and Naraku to hold Sango back while Jared (the security gaurd, remember?) escorted Miroku to safety. I decided that it was time for a break from karaoke.   
  
But Kagome and Sango, who were by now also drunk, had a different plan. They selected a song, but they just let the background music play, while not singing along. They instead starting dancing and *cough cough* stripping *cough cough*. I hastily waved the Magic Keyboard in the air, typed something, and Shippo and Rin both went temporarily blind, while Andy hit both girls over the head with a blunt object. He dragged them off the stage, while groans and boos could be heard from the males. By now, Shippo and Rin were just starting to regain their sight.   
  
I rushed onto the stage and grabbed the microphone.  
  
"Excuse me, EXCUSE ME!!!" I said. Everyone turned their attention towards me. "OK, it's only midnight, but I'm afraid things are getting a bit too rowdy for the kids here, so this party is now officially OVER! Besides for all those of you who are drunk, you're going to have one hell of a hangover later. BYE NOW!" I said. With a wave of the Magic Keyboard, I cleared all the party items from the Higurashi's living room. I knocked Miroku, Koga, and Naraku all over the head with a blunt object. I took Koga and Naraku and disposed of them in much the same way as Kikyo. I then ushered Sesshomaru and Rin out the door, while carrying the unconcious Jaken.  
  
And the karaoke party gone horribly wrong ended. The next day, every one had hangovers, hangovers, and MORE hangovers. I stayed in my room the entire day, mumbling about saki, karaoke, and insane demons. But, I had a feeling chapter eight would go much better. Much better indeed......  
  
A/N: MUUUUUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! I bet you'll never guess what will happen in chapter eight! Sorry this chappie took so long. I'm just too lazy to get off my ass and wright a fic. Anyway I've got a chllenge for y'all! The first two peopple who review and name ALL the bands mentioned in this chapter get walk-in roles for chapter 8! I'll e-mail the winners. Remember, revies inspire quicker updates. C'ya! 


	8. The Pool Party

A/N: KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Gomenasai!! Gomenasai!! Gomenasai!! I am SOOO sorry!! This chapter is EXTREMELY late, I know!! I'm sure you don't want to hear the explanation for why it's so late, but I'll tell ya anyway. See, this is what happened. I was working on chapter 8, and I already had the beginning of chapter 9 down. But the next time I went to work on my fic, ALL THE CHAPTERS HAD SOMEHOW BEEN ERASED FROM THE FLOPPY DISK I KEEP THEM ON!! I was going to re-write chapter 8, but I couldn't remember what all was in it! And then school took over, and they were just SWAMPING us with projects (we're talkin', like, a new project every four days!) and I couldn't get to work on the chapter. Then I couldn't find the floppy disk. I am, again, EXTREMELY sorry this chapter is so late! For those of you who haven't abandoned the fic, here's chapter 8!  
  
P.S.: GOMENASAI!!  
  
It was a hot day in Tokyo, and the Inu-Yasha crew was sitting in Kagome's living room in front of the fan. (Poor Kagome didn't have air-conditioning.) Shippo had just started wailing about how hot it was when a potted plant came sailing from behind and nailed him in the back of the head. (A/N: It's fun to abuse Shippo. Yet at the same time, it's so wrong.....hm. A dilemma.)  
  
"OUCH!! Who did that?!" Shippo shrieked as he jumped up, rubbing the back of his head and looking for the culprit. A baseball came sailing out of the shadows and hit Shippo in between the eyes, knocking him cold.  
  
"Oh my god! Shippo, are you OK?!" Kagome shouted as she ran to the kitsune's aid. A large amount of laughter came from the direction in which the flying objects had come.  
  
"My my, you're an amusing bunch." A voice said. Inu-Yasha whisked out his Tetsusaiga, ready for action.  
  
"Who's there?" He barked.  
  
"Now now Inu-Yasha, no need to get so uptight." The voice said. A dark form came jumping out of the shadows and knocked Inu-Yasha's Tetsusaiga out of his hand. "Now then, time for a formal introduction. My name is Kiri." Said the owner of the voice. The Inu-Yasha cast members stared.  
  
Kiri was tall, with long black hair, almost as long as Inu-Yasha's. She had claws, fangs, pointed ears, and bright green eyes, but her oddest feature was the tail poking out of the back of her pants. The tail was long and orange, with black stripes, meaning it was a tiger tail. She wore clothes similar to Sesshomaru's clothes, but hers were black instead of white.  
  
Shippo had just regained consciousness, and jumped when he saw Kiri.  
  
"WAAAH!! A demon!!" Shippo screamed as he ducked behind Kagome. Kiri laughed again.  
  
"You've got that right Shippo." She said with a smile, showing off her gleaming fangs. She picked up the Tetsusaiga, holding it out in front of her. "This is a fine sword you have here Inu-Yasha." She said as she continued to admire it. Inu-Yasha growled at her. "Well, if you're going to get so upset about it..." Kiri mumbled irritably. She tossed the sword back to Inu-Yasha. "You can have it back."  
  
"What do you want?!" Inu-Yasha demanded. Kiri grinned a mischeivious grin that sent shivers down everyone's spines.  
  
"Well, if you have to know..." She began as she started slinking around the room in a cat-like manner. "Tigris wanted me to invite you all to a pool party. You know, since it's such a hot day and all."  
  
"Tigris?" Sango asked. "Isn't she that girl who keeps bothering us?"  
  
"Well, how rude." Kiri said mockingly. "I guess if you don't want to be nice to Tigris, I'll just tell her you can't come."  
  
"Wait!" Kagome called. "Sango didn't mean it, RIGHT Sango?" Kagome asked as she elbowed Sango.  
  
"Er...right." Sango said nodding, having caught on just in time.  
  
"Oh good. Well, first we have to round up the others, then we'll go and get swimsuits for those of you who don't have them." Kiri said as she pulled out a small list.  
  
"What others?" Miroku asked curiously.  
  
"THESE others. Ahem. There's Sesshomaru, of course, Rin, Kikyo, Koga, and Naraku." Kiri said, reading the list. "Some of you may be wondering why Tigris chose to include the last three, but I assure you she has her reasons. Now, before we get going, you got anything to drink around here?"  
  
Kagome pointed to the kitchen, and Kiri walked off.  
  
As Kiri noisily gulped water in the kitchen, and Kagome ran off to get her swimsuit, Inu-Yasha sheathed Tetsusaiga and scowled.  
  
"How do we know we can trust that Kiri? Just who the heck IS she anyway?!" he mumbled irritably.  
  
"Kukukukuku. She is an incarnation of myself." Naraku's voice said from behind them. Inu-Yasha whipped out Tetsusaiga and spun around.  
  
"NARAKU!!" he barked. He then dropped his sword in surprise. For standing behind them was NOT Naraku, but none other than: myself, speaking into a microphone attached to a black box with a dial on the side.  
  
Laughing at Inu-Yasha's expression, I turned the dial and spoke into the microphone. "What's the matter Inu-Yasha? Is your simple little hanyou brain confused?" said Sesshomaru's voice. Inu-Yasha immeadiately became angry.  
  
"WHAT THE-?! How the HELL did-?! What are-?!" he spluttered. "JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!"  
  
"It's my NEW sparkle sparkle VOICE CHANGER!" I shouted, triumphantly holding it up in front of Inu-Yasha's red face.  
  
"What's a voice changer?" Shippo asked excitedly, hopping up and down.  
  
"It's a device that allows anyone to speak in another person's voice! I built it myself. You just speak into this microphone, with the dial set to whatever voice you want, and the words you speak come out of this box in the voice you set it to." I explained. Everyone in the room stared blankly. "Let's try a demonstration then, shall we?" I said, turning the dial. "How about.....Shippo."  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! Help! Kagome!!! Save MEEEEEEEEE!!!" Shippo's voice screamed. Everyone except Shippo collapsed, laughing. Shippo scowled. "HEY!! I don't sound like that!" He said, turning to the rest of the group. "Stop laughing! Stop it!! KAGOME!! MAKE THEM STOP!!"  
  
"Inu-Yasha...." Kagome said dangerously, having retrieved her swimsuit.  
  
"WAIT!! Kagome, DON'T!!" Inu-Yasha shouted.  
  
"SIT!!"  
  
Inu-Yasha was then slammed into the floor with a very loud WHOMP. This made everyone laugh harder.  
  
"Hmmm, who shall we try next? Oh, I know! Sango!" I said, turning the dial of the voice changer.  
  
"I'm madly in love with Miroku. I'll always deny it if you ask me, even though it's so obvious!!" Sango's voice said after everyone had stopped laughing. The laughter ensued again while Sango stood seething with rage. Miroku walked over to Sango.  
  
"So, Sango...." Miroku began as his hand started doing what his hand does best. Sango then slapped Miroku so hard he went sailing through a wall and outside and through a tree, before getting flattened against the side of a building.  
  
"Ouch." Kiri said, coming back from the kitchen.  
  
"Indeed." I answered. "Care for another?"  
  
"Oh yes, please do." Kiri said. I turned the dial again.  
  
"Hmph. I would never be in "love" with anyone. But I don't realise that soon I will develop feelings for the wolf boy, Koga." Kagura's voice said.  
  
"That's not true!" shouted the real Kagura as she came crashing through the window.  
  
"Aaaawwww. That window was just repaired!!" I whined.  
  
"Kagura! What an honor!" Kiri exclaimed as she walked up and started wringing the wind-user's hand.  
  
"Hey, back off!" I yelled, pushing Kiri out of the way. "Kiss-up." I mumbled before wringing Kagura's hand myself. "Well, it looks like we have another guest for the pool party!!"  
  
"Pool party?" Kagura asked blankly.  
  
"I'll explain later. Let's go!" I said as Andy the censor/hit man walked in.  
  
"To the bus!" Kiri exclaimed.  
  
"I was gonna say that..." I mumbled.  
  
So, everyone boarded the bus and set out to pick up the other guests. As the vehicle sped through downtown Tokyo, taking many "shortcuts" down alleyways and through people's property, the cast members began to converse.  
  
"So, who is that girl anyway?" Kagura asked Kiri.  
  
"Oh, she's Tigris. She's just a human, but she has weird powers. She transported all of you here to present-day Tokyo and pretty much controls your lives by manipulating you into doing different tasks." Kiri explained.  
  
"I don't like the sound of that. Perhaps I should just kill her." Kagura said, pulling out her fan. At that moment, Adam, the newly-hired security guard, walked up and snatched Kagura's fan. "Hey!" she shouted, grabbing at it.  
  
"Sorry, but I can't have you killing Tigris. I won't get paid." Adam said.  
  
"GAAAAHHHH!!! Andy, are you trying to get us arrested?!?" I shouted as the bus sped up and took a very sharp left turn. Everyone was thrown to the left side of the bus, causing Kagome to crash into Inu-Yasha, Sango to crash into Miroku, and Shippo to crash into a window.  
  
"Uh.. sorry..."  
  
"Get offa me!!"  
  
"splat! OW!!"  
  
"Going somewhere Sango?"  
  
"SLAP Pervert!"  
  
Just as everyone recovered from crashing into each other, they were all thrown forward as the bus came to a sudden, screeching halt in front of a fancy-looking hotel.  
  
"OWW!!" Shippo cried as he hit the windshield.  
  
"Wow. I wonder who's staying here?" Kagome said as Kiri and I got off the bus to fetch the first guest.  
  
The cast waited in silence, watching from the windows of the bus for several minutes. Suddenly, a flash of green light was seen about 14 floors up, followed by loud crashes, screams, and explosions.  
  
"WAIT, PLEASE!! WE JUST WANTED TO-" was heard before Kiri was cut off by another crash and several flashes of green light.  
  
"I'll help you, L-" came a high, annoying voice before it was cut off.  
  
"GIVE ME THAT THING, YOU SLIMY TOAD!!" I shouted. There was a loud screech as a large fireball came shooting out of the window, followed by a small, rather blackened object, which landed a foot in front of the bus. There were about another 5 minute's worth of crashes, explosions, and flashes of green light before Kiri and I came back out of the hotel, bleeding, burned, and followed by Sesshomaru and Rin. Jakken, it turned out, was the blackened object lying in front of the bus.  
  
Sesshomaru and Rin boarded the bus, choosing seats in the back.  
  
"That's it," Kiri said coughing as she dusted herself off, "I am NEVER dropping in on Sesshomaru uninvited again."  
  
"Well, it's your own damn fault you know." I told her, brushing debris out of my hair. "You didn't even TRY to use Rin as a human shield."  
  
"Feh."  
  
"All right! Let's get moving!!" Andy said as he revved the engine. There was a loud exclamation of "No, wait!! STOP!!" from in front of the bus before Andy hit the gas and Jakken was hit with a face full of bus grille.  
  
"Quick, back up, back up!!" I shouted. Andy threw the bus in reverse and Jakken got a clear view of the bumper sticker reading "I eat my road kill" before he got a face full of bus bumper.  
  
The bus again sped off. This time, everyone except Sesshomaru and Rin gripped the edges of their seats very tightly. After Rin crashed into Sesshomaru during a right turn, they both learned to hang on too. The bus soon came to a stop in a very small, dirty alley, with many types of profanity and offensive language spray-painted everywhere. Kiri and I once again got off the bus.  
  
"OK, be carefull this time." I said as we walked to a door.  
  
"Take your own advice." Kiri snapped as she knocked on the door. After a moment of waiting, we went inside. Everyone else watched from the safety of the bus. There was a moment's silence. Then, a loud crash and a shout.  
  
"Guard yourselves, fools!! The Soul Edge shall be mine!!"  
  
"KYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"  
  
I ran out the door, closely followed by Kiri as a large axe swiped at us.  
  
"Shut it, shut it!!" I yelled. Kiri slammed the door, then blocked it with several conviently placed cinderblocks and large pieces of lumber. We then collapsed, panting, against the wall of the alley. "Oy. I hate Soul Caliber 2 characters." I said.  
  
"Tell me about it." Kiri said. After resting a minute, we walked to another door and knocked. This time, a certain miko with an eye patch answered the door. "Oh, hi Kaede." Kiri said politely, coughing as a large cloud of smoke came out of the room behind the door. "Could you maybe point us over to you-know-who's place?" Kiri asked after she stopped coughing. Kaede glanced around shiftily, then pointed to a door to the right of hers. I walked over and knocked. The door opened slightly.  
  
"So, what can I do for ya?" A voice asked. "I got it all: crack, weed, 'shrooms..." I quickly shut the door.  
  
"Not THAT you-know-who!" Kiri shouted. "The OTHER you-know-who!!" Kaede pointed to a door to the left of the crazy Soul Caliber character's place. I walked over and opened the door.  
  
"Oh hey, check out this cool mirror!" I said as I peeked inside. "Wait a minute, a mirror?!?!" I then quickly jumped away from the door. "Yeah, this is the right place." I said. Kiri walked over and we both dashed inside. In the silence, a slight glugging noise could be heard from somewhere behind the door. There was another moment of silence.  
  
"EEEWWW!! That's so GROSS!!" Kiri said.  
  
"Look out! He's trying to-" I began, before I was cut off by a crash. Several bits of flesh and demon parts came flying out into the alley.  
  
"GET HIM!!!" Kiri shouted. There were more crashes, followed by several grunting noises, with the sinister glug in the background.  
  
"Look out!! It's K-" I was cut off again with another crash.  
  
"Quick, knock him out!"  
  
CLONK!!  
  
"Fools! You cannot defeat me!"  
  
"Just watch us!!"  
  
CRASH!!  
  
"Quick, wrap him up in this gaudy pelt!!"  
  
There were a few more silent moments, and then Kiri and I came out dragging a struggling baboon pelt. We dragged it over to the bus, and tossed it inside before boarding the bus ourselves. Once on, we quickly hand-cuffed the person inside the baboon pelt to the seat.  
  
"NARAKU!!" Inu-Yasha shouted, jumping up.  
  
"NARAKU!!" Miroku shouted, also jumping up.  
  
"NARAKU!!" Kagome and Sango yelled at the same time as they too jumped up.  
  
"N-naraku?!" Shippo shrieked, diving under one of the seats.  
  
"Hey hey hey!! Back to your seats!!" Kiri shouted. She then dashed over and shoved each of them down. "You can kill Naraku later." Inu-Yasha, Miroku, and Sango all sat back down, scowling.  
  
"Wait a second." Kagome said. "If Naraku was there, doesn't that mean Kohaku was too?"  
  
"Kohaku?" I said nervously. "Hehheh. Wh-who's Kohaku?"  
  
"Yeah, we don't know a Kohaku." Kiri said as she quickly stuffed the chain sickle she was holding behind her back.  
  
"What?! Kohaku?!" Sango cried, jumping back up. She then started running to the front of the bus.  
  
"Andy! FLOOR IT!!" I shouted. Everyone was thrown to the back as the bus went screeching out of the alley.  
  
After Sango had been subdued, I walked over to Kagome. "You'd do well to guard your TOUNGE, MISSY!!" I shouted at her. Several minutes later, the bus pulled up in front of a zoo.  
  
"OK, this time everyone except Naraku should come. We may need your assistance." Kiri said. So, everyone, except Naraku, exited the bus. We hadn't walked very far before Koga's voice came floating over to the group.  
  
"You've got to fight this tyranny!! Break free of these cages comrades!! Join me, and together we shall overthrow the humans!!" Koga shouted. We came upon him at the wolf enclosure. He was shouting at the wolves while adults watched him in fear and small children cried. "Rise up and fight!! RISE UP!! R-" Koga shouted, until Andy fired a tranquilizer dart, which hit him in the butt.  
  
"Oops. Dart in your ass." Andy said.  
  
"Why you!! You...." Koga said, swaying slightly. He then collapsed.  
  
"Andy, how many times have I told you to hit the carotid artery? You hit him in the ass!" I said, handing Koga to Kiri.  
  
"Yeah, carotid artery." Andy said.  
  
"That's in the NECK!" I said with clenched teeth.  
  
"No it isn't." Andy said.  
  
"Yes it is!!" I shouted.  
  
"Yeah, I know." Andy said, smiling.  
  
"Get. Back. On. The. Bus."  
  
Everyone boarded the bus, and Andy sped off in the direction of the location of the last guest on the list. The group sat in silence as they were jostled about by the speed of the bus. Suddenly, my cell phone rang. "Hello, Tigris Help Hotline, how may I help you?"  
  
A woman's voice could be heard screaming hysterically, with gunshots and dogs barking in the background. "OK, Ma'am, just calm down." I said as the woman continued. "Ma'am, M-Ma'am! Would you shut the hell up, bitch?!" I then hung up.  
  
The bus came to a stop in front of a very depressing, goth-type cafe. Kiri and I walked in. There was very depressing music playing, and very depressed-looking or goth people sitting at the tables as people recited depressing poetry up on the stage.  
  
"Say, ask if those guys have a gun on them. I'm gonna blow my brains out." Kiri said, in a very depressed way. I grabbed her by the shirt and slapped her.  
  
"Snap out of it!! Think happy thoughts!! Chocolate!! Pizza!!! Pocky!!! SESSHOMARU TOPLESS!!!" I shouted as I continued to slap her.  
  
"Sorry. I don't know what was wrong with me." Kiri said, in a happier way than before.  
  
"And the blood drips from the murderous bow onto the cold ground, where the bleeding body lies...." came a voice from on stage.  
  
"That poetry!!" I shouted, grabbing Kiri and shaking her. "I recognize that death poetry!!" And when I looked up on the stage, I saw none other than Kikyo.  
  
"Wow. You knew Kikyo would be here?" Kiri asked.  
  
"No. I just stopped in to buy a can of Vamp." I answered. "It's an energy drink. I need that boost, you know?"  
  
"Well, you buy your drink. I'll go get Kikyo." Kiri said as she headed towards the stage.  
  
"NO!! Stop, you fool!! You know not your peril!!" I shouted, running after Kiri. When Kiri reached the stage, she tried to drag Kikyo off. Kikyo then shot at her with a sacred arrow.  
  
"AIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Kiri screamed as she ran away.  
  
"Amateur." I mumbled. "HEY KIKYO!! Inu-Yasha's outside, and he's ready to go to hell with you!" I yelled at Kikyo. She immediately dropped her bow.  
  
"Really?! How does my hair look? Does my breath smell OK?" she asked like a giddy schoolgirl. As she headed for the door, I grabbed a lead pipe that just happened to be lying around and hit her over the head with it, knocking her out.  
  
"Piece of cake." I said, grinning cockily at Kiri as I dragged Kikyo's limp form outside and to the bus. I then strapped her into her seat using various restraints such as chains and ropes, and sat down. "OK, Andy! To the mall!"  
  
"The mall? I thought we were going to the pool?" Kagome asked.  
  
"We will, but first we need to get swimsuits for those of you who don't have them."  
  
"Sesshomaru-sama, what's a mall?"  
  
"........"  
  
At the mall, the cast members, Kiri, and myself walked past many stores towards the swimsuit store, having to stop a few times to let the various cast members ogle at whatever item they wanted to see. At one point, Miroku practically begged to look in a Victoria's Secret store, but was quickly silenced by Sango.  
  
"Hey, this store has coin-operated boys!!" Kiri exclaimed, pressing her face against a window.  
  
"Really? Let me see!" I said. After several minutes of ogling, we moved on.  
  
"If only we'd had more money...." Kiri sighed dejectedly.  
  
"Say, we've been walking for awhile. Shouldn't we be there by now?" Sango asked.  
  
"It should be right around this corner here," I answered. We turned a corner and came to what appeared to be a large, but closed, store. There was a small sign pinned up on the wall reading: "Sorry, we've moved! Look for us at our new location!"  
  
"There's nothing there." Miroku said skeptically.  
  
"No, no, I assure you, this is the place!" I replied.  
  
"But it says right on that sign that the store moved." Kagome said.  
  
"Or DID it?" Kiri said mysteriously. Everyone looked at her in slight puzzlement. Kiri and I sighed.  
  
"Haven't you people learned ANYTHING in the time you've spent slaving away under my twisted aspersions?" I asked. They all stared blankly back at me. Sighing again, I snapped my fingers. Instantly, lights came on in the store, and the doors opened, revealing hundreds of racks and shelves full of nothing but swimsuits. The cast members gaped.  
  
"How did you do that?!" Eleven puzzled voices asked in unison. (Yes, count 'em, there's eleven!)  
  
"It's a new feature of the Magic Keyboard: the Magic Keyboard Wireless version! As seen on TV!" I pulled a small white device that looked kind of like an iPod out of my pocket. "You just think about what you want and snap your fingers. Snapping your fingers activates this little baby, and then it interprets your brain waves to figure out what you want, then it creates it!" I kissed the white device and slipped it back into my pocket. "Ain't technology great?"  
  
"Anyway, let's get inside!" Kiri exclaimed as she herded the still very confused-looking cast members into the store. Kiri then started dividing them up into groups and explaining about swimsuits and their purposes. Kagome, who already had her swimsuit, was waiting idly by the entrance of the store.  
  
"Say Kagome, I know you like Inu-Yasha." I said as I walked up to her. Kagome blushed a brilliant shade of red. "Anyway, you should try buying a few things from this store. It might just take his mind OFF of Kikyo, and ON to you." I said mischievously as I handed her a piece of paper with a store name written on it. She blushed an even deeper shade of red as a store clerk walked by.  
  
"AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!" He screamed as he saw her extremely red face. "EBOLA!!! She's got Ebola!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!" He then ran off screaming at the top of his lungs. Kagome hurried off to find the store listed on the piece of paper. Suddenly, there was an explosion from inside the store, and smoke billowed out from the entrance.  
  
"Spare the children!! SPARE THE CHILDREN!!!!!" A woman screamed as she ran by with two little kids.  
  
"WHY, God?! WHY?!?!" I shrieked as I ran inside the store. Nothing could be seen because of the thick smoke inside the store, but Kiri could clearly be heard shouting frantically.  
  
"No, wait!! Cut that out!! No, not the face!! That's not nice!!"  
  
As the smoke began to clear, the scene of chaos before me was revealed. It was utter havoc. Naraku was trying to kill every one of the cast members, Inu-Yasha was trying to fight Naraku, Koga, Sesshomaru, and Kagura all at once, Kikyo was trying to kill Inu-Yasha and Naraku, Kagura was trying to kill Koga and Naraku, Koga was trying to kill Kagura, Sesshomaru was trying to kill Naraku, and Sango and Miroku were trying to kill Naraku and Kagura and fight Sesshomaru. (I really don't blame you if you didn't understand all of that....)  
  
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!?!?! CAN'T I LEAVE FOR TWO SECONDS WITHOUT EVERYTHING GOING CRAZY?!?!?!?!" I shouted at Kiri, who was trying rather unsuccessfully to stop the fight.  
  
"Hey, it's not my fault!! Kiri shouted as she dodged an arrow.  
  
"Look, we don't have time for this!!" I shrieked as I snapped my fingers. Suddenly, everyone with the exception of Kagura and Sesshomaru was knocked unconscious. I snapped my fingers again, and Sango, Miroku, Inu-Yasha, and Koga woke up.  
  
"Now, I want you all to behave like mature demons and humans. No trying to kill each other, and no fighting, OK? And no perverted actions." I said. "And Inu-Yasha and Koga don't need to fight over Kagome, because she's not even here right now." Just as I finished speaking, Shippo stepped out of the restroom.  
  
"Did I miss anything?" He asked. I turned around and glared at him. He gave a small yelp of fright and hid in between two racks of swimsuits. About two seconds later, Rin came out of the other restroom.  
  
"Now, I don't want to hear a SOUND out of any of you until I get Rin's and Shippo's swimsuits." I said. "UNDERSTOOD?!?" I shouted. There were a few murmurs of "yes" amongst the conscious cast members. I then turned around and walked over to where Rin was standing and Shippo was cowering.  
  
"What a bitch." Koga whispered to Inu-Yasha.  
  
"Yeah." Inu-Yasha agreed.  
  
"I HEAR TALKING!!!!" I shouted as I whipped around to face them. They immediately clamped their mouths shut.  
  
"Tigris-sama, what will it take to get you to be happy?" Rin asked.  
  
"Pills. Get me some pills." I said quickly.  
  
"OK! Rin will get Tigris-sama pills!" Rin said smiling as she walked over to Sesshomaru, who was holding up some black swim trunks with little blue crescent moons on them.  
  
"Sesshomaru-sama, where are the pills?" Rin asked when she got up to him.  
  
"Pills? What do you need pills for?" Sesshomaru asked, staring at the little girl.  
  
"Tigris-sama says that the pills will make her happy and keep her from yelling." Rin said.  
  
"Oh, SWEET SALVATION!!" I cried triumphantly as I pulled a bottle of Extra-Strength Headache pills out of my pocket. I quickly swallowed two. "It's OK Rin, I don't need pills anymore."  
"OK!" Rin called as she walked back over to Shippo and I.  
  
"Kiri, you help these two. I've got to go keep watch over the others." I said as I walked past her to where Inu-Yasha, Koga, Kagura, Sesshomaru, Miroku, and Sango were standing. "OK, everyone found a swimsuit they like?" I asked as I walked up to them.  
  
Inu-Yasha held up a pair of red swim trunks that matched his normal clothes. Koga gripped a pair of blue swim trunks with little brown wolf tails on them that matched the color of his eyes. Kagura was holding a two-piece swimsuit which was the same color red as her eyes with little fans on them. Sesshomaru held the black swim trunks with the blue crescent moons. Miroku grabbed a pair of dark purple swim trunks with little hands on them, and Sango was holding a black one-piece swimsuit with boomerangs on it.  
  
"OK, then we just have to get Rin's and Shippo's swimsuits, and we're done!" I said joyfully as I clapped my hands together.  
  
"I already got them." Kiri said as she held up a pair of swim trunks for Shippo that were blue with little leaves on them, matching his shirt, and a one-piece swimsuit for Rin, which matched the trunks Sesshomaru had gotten. "And I got swimsuits for Naraku and Kikyo too." She held up a pair of black swim trunks and a black one-piece swimsuit.  
  
"Then we're all set!" I said as I paid for everything and walked out of the store. Kiri followed, dragging Naraku and Kikyo. The rest of the cast followed us out, carrying their respective purchases.  
  
We found Kagome waiting near the entrance of the mall, holding a bag that contained something she wouldn't show the rest of the cast members. We then boarded the bus and took off for the pool. As the bus sped through the streets of Tokyo, I faced the cast members.  
  
"Alright everyone..." I began, raising my arms, "strip!" There were a few shocked stares.  
  
"Sesshomaru-sama, what does 'strip' mean?" Rin asked.  
  
"Allow me to demonstrate." I said as I snapped my fingers. Kikyo's limp form started floating, and then underwent what appeared to be a magical girl transformation, with a substantial degree of implied nudity. Once Kikyo could be seen clearly again, she was wearing her swimsuit. I snapped again, and she fell back into the seat.  
  
"I'm not doing that!!" Inu-Yasha shouted, his face quite red.  
  
"Well of course you're not going to go through a magical girl transformation, Inu-Yasha. You're just going to take all your clothes off and put your swimsuit on." I said in a fakely sweet voice, with a very scary smile on my face.  
  
"Not in front of everybody else!!" He yelled back.  
  
"Not in front of EVERYBODY else, silly." Kiri said. Inu-Yasha breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
"Just all the males." I concluded. Inu-Yasha choked, and his face turned red again.  
  
"OK, chop, chop!" Kiri shouted, clapping her hands. "Girls in the front, guys in the back!" They all moved to their respective places, grumbling. I snapped my fingers, and curtains sprang up in front of each group, shielding them from view.  
  
"This is so stupid..." Inu-Yasha mumbled as the sounds of shifting fabric could be heard from behind each curtain.  
  
"Why do we have to do this?" Sango asked from behind the curtain at the front of the bus.  
  
"I still say we should just kill that girl." Kagura grumbled.  
  
"Shall I?" I whispered to Kiri, smiling devilishly.  
  
"Do it." Kiri whispered back, grinning. I snapped my fingers, and suddenly the curtains disappeared, revealing the cast members, all of whom were stark naked.  
  
There was a moment's silence. Then, a collective "AAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!" could be heard as they moved to cover themselves, except for Shippo and Rin, who did not quite understand the concept of embarrassment at seeing someone naked. Kiri and I whistled in unison as we got a good look at the males. I snapped my fingers again, and the curtains reappeared, once again hiding everyone.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!?!" Koga shouted, coming out from behind the curtain in his swimsuit.  
  
"You have to admit, it was a nice view." I said, smiling. "What did you think, Kagura?" Kagura declined to reply, but a few small giggles from the female cast members could be heard.  
  
"Kagura's so lucky. She got a clear view of Koga AND Sesshomaru!" Kiri exclaimed as she waggled her eyebrows in a comical fashion. Kagura came out from behind the girls' curtain and stood near the front, being sure not to make eye contact with Koga or Sesshomaru, although she did occasionally sneak glances at them, as if contemplating something.  
  
Soon, everyone had changed and gotten back into their seats. By this time, Naraku and Kikyo had regained consciousness, and were very surprised to find their clothes missing and their swimsuits on them. After another ten minutes of sharp high-speed turns, the bus stopped just outside a very large pool. The deepest end was about 16 feet deep.  
  
The pool was entirely empty, save for a lifeguard seated near the right side of the pool, flipping through a magazine. The lifeguard was wearing baggy camouflage army pants with a silver chain on the left side, and a white T-shirt with a red rose. The lifeguard had long blonde hair and blue eyes, and was wearing an army headband.  
  
"Ahoy!" I called as I walked up to her. She looked up and quickly glanced at the group.  
  
"Sorry, the kids can't come in. It's Adult Swim right now." She said, her eyes going back to her magazine.  
  
"But there's no one there!" Kiri shouted. I put a hand up to silence her.  
  
"Let ME handle this." I whispered to her. I then turned my attention back to the lifeguard. "Could we maybe persuade you to bend the rules just this one time?" I asked.  
  
"It depends. What are you gonna give me?" She asked without taking her eyes off her magazine, which she was holding upside-down.  
  
"How about a chance to meet the one and only Sesshomaru!!" I said in a game-show host-type voice.  
  
"Sesshomaru?! Really?!?!" She asked excitedly as she jumped up.  
  
"Yes! Just come on over and you can glomp him all you want!" I shouted.  
  
Now, the cast members were standing near the entrance, which was on the left side of the pool, and the lifeguard was on the RIGHT side. As soon as she spied Sesshomaru, she immediately ran FORWARD, and fell into the pool, right at the 8-foot mark.  
  
"Boy, talk about your dumb blondes." Kiri said as the lifeguard surfaced.  
  
"That's right! I'm a dumb blonde and I'm PROUD!!" The lifeguard shouted as she swam over to the left side of the pool. She pulled herself out of the pool, then ran over and glomped Sesshomaru, knocking him backwards. She then broke into a long rant about how great Sesshomaru was.  
  
"So, can the kids go in the pool now?" I asked her.  
  
"Yes, yes, YES!!" She shouted as she huggled Sesshomaru.  
  
"Good. I'm glad we understand each other." I said, smiling.  
  
"All right!" Shippo exclaimed as he jumped into the pool at the shallow end. Rin had a little more patience.  
  
"Sesshomaru-sama, can Rin go in the pool?" She asked Sesshomaru, who had by now managed to pull the lifeguard off.  
  
"Yes." He said in his normally stoic manner as he brushed himself off.  
  
"Yay!" Rin shouted as she jumped into the pool with Shippo.  
  
"Hey Kagome! Check this out!" Koga called from the top of the high-dive. He then did a perfect swan dive into the pool.  
  
"Wow! Nice dive Koga!" Kagome called as she clapped her hands.  
  
"Feh! That's nothing, ya mangy wolf!!" Inu-Yasha shouted as he climbed up the ladder to the diving board. When he reached the top, he jumped off, and did an excellent belly-flop into the pool. "OWW!!!" He shouted as he made contact with the surface of the water. He then sank into the pool.  
  
"Ouch. Surface tension be a cruel mistress." Kiri said.  
  
"Aye." I agreed as I watched the bubbles come up from Inu-Yasha's position under the water.  
  
"Say, what's that floating in the water there?" Kiri asked, pointing to the spot where Inu-Yasha had landed.  
  
"I don't know." I said, squinting. "Something red...." There was a moment's silence. Then, Kiri and I burst out laughing. Floating in the water where he had landed were Inu-Yasha's swim trunks.  
  
"What's so funny?" Miroku asked as Kiri and I collapsed, laughing.  
  
"Look...HAHAHA...in the....AHAHAHA...water!!!" Kiri gasped between laughs, tears of mirth streaming down her face. Miroku looked over where Kiri was pointing, then burst out laughing when he spotted Inu-Yasha's trunks floating on top of the water like a tribute to his belly-flop.  
  
"Inu-Yasha!! I think you've lost something!!" Miroku yelled as Inu-Yasha came up.  
  
"What?!" Inu-Yasha shouted, looking around. "What are you talking about?!"  
  
"Look behind ya, mutt-face!!" Koga shouted, a cocky grin plastered on his face. Inu-Yasha turned around and yelped as he saw his swim trunks floating in the water, and realized he was naked. He quickly grabbed them and put them back on.  
  
"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?!?!" Inu-Yasha shouted angrily. By this time though, no one had the strength to stop laughing and say anything.  
  
Soon, the majority of the cast members were in the pool. Only Kikyo and Naraku were still out of the water, Kikyo because she needed a tan, and Naraku because the lifeguard said he would contaminate the pool. Naraku was quite content however, entertaining himself by randomly squeezing Kagura's heart.  
  
"Stop being so mean Naraku!!" Kiri shouted, rapping him on the head with a lead pipe after Kagura had collapsed in pain for the sixth time.  
  
"Read a book or something." I said as he scowled at Kiri. "I've got one you'll like right here." I then pulled out a book and handed it to him. The cover read: "Villainy for Dummies! How to become a better villain in just 10 easy steps!" Naraku quickly immersed himself in the book.  
  
"Are you sure that was a good idea?" Kiri asked.  
  
"Oh come on, everybody knows those self-help books are a load of bull." I replied. At that moment, Naraku decided to try step one in the book: "Talk really loud, and in a language no one understands. People will fear you more if they can't tell what you're saying."  
  
"PH33R M3, PH0R 1 4M T3H 3V1L B34V3R!!!" He shouted. He was met by several perplexed stares. Kiri and I, however, were laughing so hard that we couldn't breathe. Highly embarrassed, Naraku picked the book back up and went on to step two.  
  
"See what I mean?" I asked Kiri. She replied with more laughing.  
  
"WAAAHHH!! Kagome!! HELP!!!" Shippo's voice shouted from the deep end of the pool, where Inu-Yasha was holding Shippo's head under the water.  
  
"Inu-Yasha, what are you doing to Shippo?!?!" Kagome shouted as she swam over.  
  
"He was laughing at me!!" Inu-Yasha shouted defensively.  
  
"Inu-Yasha...." Kagome said dangerously.  
  
"No! Kagome, DON'T!!" Inu-Yasha shouted, holding up a hand.  
  
"SIT!!" Inu-Yasha was slammed into the bottom of the pool with a loud splash.  
  
"I wonder how long he's been down there..." I said after a minute or so.  
  
"I don't know, but I think the bubbles have stopped coming up." Kiri said, pointing.  
  
"Oh yeah....."  
"Hey look, it's Sesshomaru!" Kiri said, pointing.  
  
"OH YEAH!!" I exclaimed. We then spent a great deal of time staring at him and drooling. Suddenly, we were interrupted by a loud scream of pain from Miroku.  
  
"MY EYES!!! It BURNS!!!!" He screamed, clawing at his eyes with his hands, and splashing water everywhere.  
  
"Miroku! Are you OK?!" Kagome asked worriedly as she swam over to him.  
  
"MY EYES!! MY EYES!!!" He shouted. Sango then swam over and slapped him.  
  
"Now Miroku," I began once he had calmed down, "what happened?"  
  
"Well, I opened my eyes while I was underwater-"  
  
"Probably to stare at Sango's ass." Kiri interjected. Miroku blushed and started twidling his thumbs.  
  
"Regardless. Please continue, Miroku." I said.  
  
"So anyway, I opened my eyes underwater, and they just started burning! It was HORRIBLE!!" He shuddered at the memory, while the rest of the cast rolled their eyes.  
  
"Oh, that was just the chlorine." The lifeguard interjected.  
  
"Chlorine?" Ten puzzled voices asked.  
  
"Yeah, it's, like, this chemical they put in the water, and it keeps the water clean." She explained.  
  
"Oh, so THAT'S what that smell was!" Shippo exclaimed.  
  
"I thought it was mutt-face over there." Koga said with a smirk.  
  
"I thought it was Naraku!" Inu-Yasha shouted. Suddenly, Naraku jumped up and burst into tears.  
  
"It's not my fault the only thing I know how to cook is baked beans!!" He cried tearfully. He then buried his face in his hands, and hid his face behind his book. Everyone stared at him.  
  
"Hey, watch this!!" Sango called from the top of the diving board. She then did a jack-knife into the pool. "YOW!!" She shouted once she came back up. "This water's FREEZING!!"  
  
"Hmmm...maybe I should turn the heat up in the pool." The lifeguard said. She then turned a knob, and jets of scalding hot water came shooting into the pool.  
  
"AAAAUUUUGGGGHHH!!!" Inu-Yasha screamed as a jet hit him in the back. Koga and Kagura flashed devious glances at each other, and then began splashing the hot water at each other. Soon, everyone except Sesshomaru and Rin had joined in the splashing war.  
  
"AAAHHHH!!!! It BURNS!!!"  
  
"KYYYAAAAAAAA!!!"  
  
"AIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"  
  
"HOT! HOT!! HOT!!!!"  
"AAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!"  
  
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!"  
  
"As amusing as this is, perhaps we should rescue them." I said to Kiri.  
  
"Hey, blondie! Turn the water off!!" Kiri shouted at the lifeguard.  
  
"OK!" The lifeguard chirped in a Britney Spears-type voice. The lifeguard pressed a button, and the jets of hot water immeadiately stopped.  
  
"Aahhhhhh.....It's like a hot spring now." Kagome sighed as she leaned back against the side of the pool. Suddenly, there was a loud "shlucking" sound.  
  
"Hey, watch me!!" Shippo cried from the top of the hihg-dive. He then jumped off and proceeded to do a cannonball, just as the water began draining from the pool. "AAAGGHHH!! Kagome!! HELP!!!" He screamed once the water had completely drained from the pool. He landed in the pool, making a small indentation.  
  
"Oh my god! Shippo, are you OK?!" Kagome shouted as she jumped up and ran to the kitsune's aid.  
  
"Ooops! Well, I guess the pool's closed now!" The lifeguard said cheerfully. Everyone just stared.  
  
"I am SO telling your boss about you." I said to the lifeguard.  
  
"OK! Please come again!" She chirped.  
  
"Let's get the hell out of here." Kagura huffed irritably. "I want to go home."  
  
"Oh, we're not done yet." Kiri and I said in unison.  
  
"WHAT?!" Eleven voices shouted as everyone whipped around.  
  
"Come on! Back on the bus!!" Kiri shouted cheerfully as she pushed everyone towards the bus.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"  
  
A/N: And so ends chapter 8. Again, I'm SO sorry it took so long. (Over a year since the last update. Yikes!) Anyway, thanks to CrumpledPieceofPaper for being the ONLY one to review chapter 7 WITH their e-mail address so I could insert them in the story. Well, new challenge! The first 5 people to review this chapter and tell me what two Cartoon Network shows I ripped off in this chapter, will get walk-in roles for Chapter 9! (Here's a hint: Sundays at 11:45 PM and 12:00 AM. There's another hint hidden in the chapter.) Don't sweat it if you don't know though. As long as you take a crack at it, I'll find a minor role for you. Of course, you have to be close. So, go now and hit that little button at the bottom of your screen! Limit three flames per person please! 


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